Intimacy: Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions... - FML

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

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Same thing different taste

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 980

You deserved it 7 579

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 563

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 3 517

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 2 891

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 165

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Spicy

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 3 401

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 993

You deserved it 9 412

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

Next

Top comments

Toas7 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:57

"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.

efmivida 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:54

hes a jerk... or really weird

Comments

cmac86 23

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:25

you shouldn't have sex at your young age anyway.

devendra_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:32

uh, i think the general population agrees that nineteen is old enough. unless you're planning on being a virgin in your thirties?

kcslgvr 11

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:34

at least they're legal.

lastminuteperm 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:37

At least the tramp he was sleeping with is boring.

dacman48 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:53

try the posits

where_i_stood 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:08

well, he was drunk. that's not really an fml.

wrw28405 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:10

the man was drunk, that says everything right there. He obviously was impaired and wasn't thinking clearly. Don't get too pissed off, just talk to him when he's sober and see what info you can glean out him.

byob_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:58

ROFLMFAO "see you tommorow" made my day.

TheUnknown_fml 9

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:25

Mayb that's why it's boring. LOL. F your life

malcolm1919 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:31

YDI for being a prude

unknown12341 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 5:31

wow he sucks **** fml this site can suck my dick

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:05

Crazycok ;; you are my hero. :D OP: I'm sorry, crazycok stole your FML thunder xD

aquarius6 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:12

uh. he's a bug time drunk?!

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 76

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 4 437

Today, during my sister’s baby shower, my 3 year-old daughter choked on a piece of food. My sister got upset because this apparently attracted a lot of attention from the other guests, and called my daughter an “attention whore” for “choosing today of all days to make a damn scene.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 128

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 798

You deserved it 3 745

Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 109

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 882

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 2 090