Intimacy: Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions... - FML

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 980

You deserved it 7 579

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 563

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 3 517

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 2 891

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 165

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Spicy

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 3 401

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 993

You deserved it 9 412

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

Next

Top comments

Toas7 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:57

"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.

efmivida 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:54

hes a jerk... or really weird

Comments

Shadow_Sniper 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 9:12

He was drunk, he probably had no idea what he was saying. This isn't really a very good FML.

macabrephantasm 7

Monday 20 July 2009 4:50

exactly.

nicelyjohnson 0

Monday 20 July 2009 4:58

Maybe he said it was boring BECAUSE you haven't had sex yet...

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 3:23

Why didn't you have sex with him yet? And if your 'FML'ness is due to you thinking he is having sex with another girl, well what do you expect? Put out or get out.

tashasam 0

Monday 1 March 2010 4:46

argeed with #3

yourspace 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 18:22

theguyuhate 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 18:00

damn thats ****** up

Mxpxdude189 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 22:15

exactly. he's bored with you because you don't have sex.

lisaw375 0

Monday 3 October 2011 21:48

RUN AWAY!!!!!

TurkeySlab 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 3:25

And thats a hint. For all you dumbasses

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 036

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 012

You deserved it 4 610

Today, I discovered my ex has been signing my email up for various newsletters. I knew I was getting a lot of spam, but didn't know why. It became apparent when one of these emails had his name in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 110

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, religion doesn't pay for my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 749

You deserved it 6 471

Today, my family is going to the USA for Christmas after being lucky and getting their tickets re-booked. My ticket was canceled due to the snow, and will not be re-booked. Merry Christmas to me, myself and a bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 135

You deserved it 2 777

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 425

You deserved it 389