Miscellaneous: Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML - FML

By sorry :/ - 08/02/2015 18:28 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 074

You deserved it 3 011

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 442

You deserved it 4 151

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 158

You deserved it 1 320

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 738

You deserved it 4 507

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 934

You deserved it 2 804

By areyoukiddingme - 07/09/2013 04:50 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 432

You deserved it 3 272

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 162

You deserved it 4 761

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 122

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 752

You deserved it 3 536

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

Next

Top comments

devildog562 33

Monday 9 February 2015 0:19

Tell her to apologize for being a useless ungrateful mother.

Welshite 39

Monday 9 February 2015 0:18

"Yeah, I am sorry. Sorry that I had to be born to a selfish mother."

Comments

Fwibblwfwabble 11

Monday 9 February 2015 20:19

Shame on you for being the fastest sperm

Tannasgh 22

Tuesday 10 February 2015 0:31

I think "apologize to yourself for putting your legs in the air...this is all you"

janaek683 12

Tuesday 10 February 2015 7:54

i am so sorry :/

MrZsDad 19

Tuesday 10 February 2015 9:34

Remember this moment when choosing her nursing home.

The_weird_one_2 13

Tuesday 10 February 2015 23:33

Today my mom told me she wishes I had been a miscarriage, she wasn't even drunk.

RiRi64_fml 8

Monday 16 February 2015 7:07

To, all those who clicked the "you deserved it" button: .......Cause it's his/her fault that his/her dad nutted in his/her mom and 9 months later he/she was born....that's definitely his/her fault. Note the sarcasm.

ihatemypenis 3

Thursday 19 February 2015 1:16

goood for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. GOOOOD FOR ZYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. GOOOOOOODJASDFKJASHDFJEDFBIEDFHNKEOFHOWEOFJHDFDASFASDFASDFJ"LSDF:J:SDF

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The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 350

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 011

Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I called someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 574

You deserved it 1 237

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 3 279

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 408

You deserved it 3 847

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 467

You deserved it 10 563

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 55 376