Work: Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't...

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 03:34 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 3 035

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Pixie - 15/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Mckenna

Today, I was asked if the reason I didn't like the new male massage therapist was because I was no longer the most muscular person in the spa. I'm a 5'4 woman and I don't work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 885

You deserved it 537

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 6 719

Fuzzy logic

By Lisa - 22/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 84

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 886

You deserved it 2 326

By she sure has an arm. - 28/02/2013 11:57 - United States - Clinton

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 2 631

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 20:19 - Switzerland

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 802

You deserved it 7 597

By Imslow - 05/04/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 3 597

Keeping up

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 153

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 111

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 95

sturschaedel 27

Wednesday 31 December 2014 9:32

If you really were a prostitute it wouldn't be the young, buff and attractive guys seeking your service.

underthesea12 24

Wednesday 31 December 2014 9:32

Well now you know how to increase your income.

Comments

middlenamefrank 8

Wednesday 31 December 2014 19:42

Seems like a fairly easy problem to solve. Tour the neighborhood, introduce yourself, give them a business card and tell them that if they know anybody that needs PT, you're available. Open a conversation with the neighbors and maybe even get some new business.

Artemishuntress 8

Wednesday 31 December 2014 19:43

well then lmfao

AyOoDaLoBo33 10

Wednesday 31 December 2014 21:12

What kind of guy wants to be massaged by another dude anyway?? I really wonder about this thing.

RobinGoodfellow 47

Thursday 1 January 2015 7:07

Probably the ones who are there for relief for their aches and pains instead of for a potential hard-on from some woman who's just doing her job?

lestethegreat 10

Wednesday 31 December 2014 21:53

# massage therapist problems!!! I found this funny because I've been asked for "the happy ending" to a massage. I told him, "Yes, it's when u get off my table, pay for ur appointment & NEVER come back!"