Kids: Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I... - FML

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 209

You deserved it 5 199

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Words is hard

By kate - 26/10/2021 02:00

Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 649

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 1 954

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 044

You deserved it 4 841

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 504

You deserved it 1 644

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 479

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 736

You deserved it 2 190

By deliveryboy - 05/03/2011 15:46 - China

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 8 860

By Ldp56 - 25/02/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 012

You deserved it 4 610

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 8 745

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 17:41 - Canada

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 3 909

Next

Top comments

s15c 9

Friday 30 March 2012 23:39

Well, it's your job to raise her.

malikorslip 3

Friday 30 March 2012 23:39

Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right

Comments

Laxinitup 18

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:30

Talking out of turn... That's a paddlin. Being disrespectful... That's a paddlin. Not listening... That's a paddlin. Calling me a Moron... You better believe that's not a paddlin, that's a "I'm gonna beat the attitude out of you". (Quoting Jasper from The Simpsons; edited to be funny in this situation. This is meant to be all in good fun don't take it seriously).

xplainphrox 8

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:54

I agree to the spanking. I'm sorry. Spare the hand, spoil the child. No one should hit a person with anything but their hand! Ever!!! This sort of thing shows in my own household. I spank as needed, my husband doesn't. So when he tries to correct them for something - they laugh at him... When Mommy corrects them, the understand. I explain why they got spanked. They get the pat on the bottom. They are grounded anywhere from 1 hour to 7 days- depending on severity of the issue...

xplainphrox 8

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:59

Btw my 7 kids are 6 thru 20. They are 'his' , 'hers' and 'ours'... Very rarely does any of them get more than 2 days grounding.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:34

They teach that rabbits make a healthy snack

LennyComa 39

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:39

Put her in a better school or teach her some shit

kidclarke 15

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:46

Your arguing with an 11 year old and who's the moron?

t765234 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 14:11

You're misusing the word "your", I believe that makes you the moron.

Sodamncold 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:54

Oh wow ya thats HORRIBLE. If that's fml worthy then I might as well say that my hang nail got pulled of and it really hurts FML

linkinpark98 23

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:54

Does she think the Easter Bunny is real?

laurenmacias 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:10

Smart daughter

bagoroth 2

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:27

Wait... They don't!?

iziepop 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:28

After reading this my 11 year old brother said "But they do lay eggs" I then called him a moron lol

XxDancerGirlxX 17

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:33

Time to take her our back and end her misery.

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The Top

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 90

Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 216

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 950

You deserved it 6 436

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 120

You deserved it 68 246

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 931

You deserved it 34 351

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461