Kids: Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the...

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 697

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 404

You deserved it 5 441

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

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Can't take my eyes off you

By silverscrescent - 22/08/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 458

By teacher - 25/01/2013 05:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 592

You deserved it 3 183

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 316

You deserved it 3 833

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 590

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 4 249

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 8 425

By DuhSteven - 06/06/2012 17:04 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

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You deserved it 26 584

Noped out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 00:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 980

You deserved it 2 989

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 20 May 2010 19:19

Nah, she wasn't scared. She was marking her territory. That lion would have gotten it's ass kicked if you didn't intervene.

momov2 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 19:42

good thing you aren't a parent then. since becoming a parent I've been peed on, pooped on, vomited on, and used as a human Kleenex. Just kinda goes with the job. especially when the kid is sick

Comments

FML_times8 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 20:59

thats not that bad, when you have kids you have to deal with all kinds of gross things. get used to it. its worth it though :) someone please tell me if my picture is showing up? on my compuetr is just shows a question mark, until you click it and see my page...

FarSide 22

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:12

You used a TOPLESS picture of yourself??? Way to go!

laala100 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 21:05

the fml that's wired

fistnazal 10

Thursday 20 May 2010 21:17

stop ah'lion. it gets you into trouble.

ToNstAAr 8

Thursday 20 May 2010 21:51

Who cares she's little.....

WordsOfHope 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:08

doesnt change the fact its piss

aardvarkish 16

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:10

Did you get the inspiration for this from all those cat piss FMLs?

FarSide 22

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:10

Congratulations on having a diaper backup Plan B... your shirt. That's more of a plan then BP had.

WordsOfHope 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:10

win DAFP

mouser103 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:14

I initially thought this post was going to end with the OP accidentally dropping her niece in the lion cage. In comparison, getting peed on isn't so bad.

Eyeliner_fml 0

Friday 21 May 2010 0:29

I though that too xD

dugumit 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:15

they sell tshirts and hoodies at the zoo. be practical and quit complaining.

ChantelleAshleyy 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:17

thats cute

nickiloo22 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 22:27

lol sooo cute..kinda. haha. it's ok, I was at the zoo looking at the tiger and he turned around and sprayed me...be thankful is wasn't tiger spray haha