Work: Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal... - FML

By PoorGal - 19/10/2015 18:04 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 5 803

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Same thing different taste

By pray for me - 15/08/2019 04:00

Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 359

By busted - 02/08/2012 06:53 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 331

You deserved it 18 646

By BrokeAndHungry - 24/07/2016 17:05 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 141

You deserved it 4 339

Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.

By Karma - 15/03/2017 02:00

Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 7 216

By moneymoneymoney - 08/10/2013 14:34 - United States - Tampa

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 283

You deserved it 7 087

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

By ewww - 30/07/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 720

You deserved it 4 017

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 2 069

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 475

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

Next

Top comments

cutycat136 28

Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:08

Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.

beeferjay 34

Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:17

maybe you need a sugar daddy??? and by sugar daddy I don't mean myself... I don't have money

Comments

Neff000 3

Tuesday 20 October 2015 2:47

start selling drugs

tyler_the_asiann 16

Tuesday 20 October 2015 2:54

Sounds like you got yourself in a shitty situation...

minorthreat13 2

Tuesday 20 October 2015 2:57

Been there! Don't worry about it man. If you really need tp...get some from the tim hortons bathroom. I can also let you in on this advice: coffee filters work great if you are ever out of tp at home and might have some coffee filters that you aren't currently in need of

mld4657 28

Tuesday 20 October 2015 3:06

That was stupid. I mean go to the bathroom and put some in pockets.. or do your finances better.

LoLoLibra1 14

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:28

Ha! I just did that on Friday!!! I'm in the same boat!! LOL ???

duskglow 12

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:36

Lol, sorry, OP. Good luck explaining that one! ?

WhackTheJackal 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:39

100 comments get.

SunTripper93 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:45

DIRE-rrhea sorry tho

BlackBoyFly 11

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:51

I have to ask- What kind of ply?

inz002 6

Tuesday 20 October 2015 7:01

'I need some TP, TP for my cornholio!' Should have asked though.

Sora_McKain 36

Wednesday 21 October 2015 3:25

No, it's "I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"

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The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

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I agree, your life sucks 18

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The Top

Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 120

You deserved it 17 326

Today, a real cowboy plumber somehow fucked up my piping so badly that if I turn the radiators on to get warm, none of my hot taps works, and vice versa, and I can’t shower at all because if water goes down my bathtub drain, it overflows the sink in my basement all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 112

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 068

You deserved it 1 142

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 453

You deserved it 4 556

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 1 665

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 367