Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw...

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 141

You deserved it 6 496

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Same thing different taste

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 357

You deserved it 2 782

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 437

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 197

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 938

You deserved it 10 139

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 8 366

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 373

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 926

You deserved it 32 603

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 859

You deserved it 3 436

PoshLife_Cross 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 19:07

That's cute.

xlittlemiss 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 19:07

LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.

Comments

rachelmaya 5

Tuesday 21 August 2012 5:53

Lol that's funny retard or something

fuzz97 23

Saturday 30 March 2013 9:52

wow what a dumb child. at that age, I sure as hell knew what to do when I felt sick

auracle 2

Saturday 29 June 2013 4:34

My brother does that and he's older lol

kittysundae 8

Monday 21 October 2013 2:46

Next time specify puke in the toilet

ilovemsminaj 13

Friday 3 January 2014 7:18

One time in 4th grade someone in my class had to throw up and the teacher gave him a trashcan. When he did throw up, he had his neck craned away from the trash can and was throwing up on the floor

ItsJustMe1616 26

Saturday 10 May 2014 10:29

Hahaha picturing this was disgustingly hilarious.

ItsJustMe1616 26

Saturday 10 May 2014 10:33

And 161 your exactly right! I used to work at a daycare center in the 4-5 year olds room and I learned that all too quickly lol

ItsJustMe1616 26

Saturday 10 May 2014 10:36

Sorry all I should've put all my comments into one, not three, but does anyone know if this is an illustrated one? Because if not I think it would be hilarious to turn it into one.