Intimacy: Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals...

By lolzboss - 07/03/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 475

You deserved it 46 306

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By The fuck, junior? - 05/07/2013 22:45 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 095

You deserved it 5 401

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 2 729

****** addict

By bigmouthedmommy - 13/04/2015 05:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 600

You deserved it 4 030

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 376

You deserved it 740

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 409

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 2 477

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 233

By FMLMom - 08/08/2012 08:02 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 4 638

By Kay - 02/06/2013 19:00 - India - Nagari

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 273

You deserved it 6 494

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:13

today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.

memo619 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:10

I think it was the fathers influence

Comments

LaitsGo 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:11

I'm still wondering why you have stuffed animals to begin with.. Hmm.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:14

Daddy and mommy should learn to close the bloody door, man.

alexavb15 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:57

Haa Bloody Door xD

SaharNar 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:18

whoaaa starting already young??! kids now know all sorts of things!! amazing how it gotten this far :o !

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:24

Kids are just pervy...don't you remember being a curious kid? Kids know some stuff just instinctively. No worries.

sweetheart44 6

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:30

only in the US.

chuckvargas 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:28

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Rainbow101365 5

Monday 2 January 2012 10:40

but sometimes it bounces... there might be a few rolls in there too

sweetheart44 6

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:31

only in the US

NinjaCookie 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:34

i think the real question is why do you have a FIVE year old son.. and still have your own stuffed animals..? are you a teen mom.. or are you a phycopath? either way.. you shouldn't have a child...