Kids: Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg...

By FuckLife - 11/02/2012 13:41 - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 2 489

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 6 347

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 3 050

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 10 080

By Noname - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 691

You deserved it 5 131

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 722

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 120

You deserved it 3 142

By Jim - 19/04/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 386

You deserved it 4 202

By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 735

You deserved it 865 759

By I fathered a pussy. - 14/06/2013 22:12 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 006

You deserved it 4 938

xLoLa_fml 6

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:17

What were you doing looking under his pillow...?

madelinebriana 11

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:16

That's terrifying.

Comments

invile 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:23

Sux to suck bro

Track1991 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 8:55

Hellians these days. Slap him up a bit, show him whos boss. Disaplin

takenover 15

Tuesday 14 February 2012 9:24

You'll be sleeping, when? Sounds like a great kid. Please note the sarcasm.

loveispain19 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 2:29

The first kid I baby-sitted tried to strangle me with rope. Aren't kids the greatest? (sarcasm btw)

writergirl23 19

Wednesday 15 February 2012 7:32

The kid probably thinks you're spending too much time with his mum. Take the tent peg- just in case- hide it somewhere- and ask him in a pleasant voice why he wants to kill you.