Intimacy: Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows...

By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 994

You deserved it 6 342

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Same thing different taste

Horndogs

By bullah007 - 28/11/2014 18:43 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 431

Pervy

By textraped - 16/03/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 40 804

By jakeson12 - 24/11/2012 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 3 539

By spastic hardon - 12/12/2013 21:01 - Australia - Templestowe

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 021

You deserved it 5 359

By dumped - 23/08/2015 10:22 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 2 475

Tell me the reason

By who knows - 05/02/2020 14:00 - United States - Mankato

Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 3 445

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 5 021

By vadoodoo22 - 15/01/2010 05:02 - France

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 009

You deserved it 3 268

Hello?

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 02/09/2017 00:00 - United States

Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 856

You deserved it 4 036

kamikrazy 6

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:50

Do the same thing to her.

Wuuper 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:52

nice friend

Comments

Anteezy 7

Monday 28 March 2011 0:47

Did your friend get hearing aids?

KMilliron 2

Monday 28 March 2011 1:16

I'm hearing impaired so I took your post literally for a while and I didn't get it... Hahaha. Phone sex= audio stds. Made my day. Totally gonna use that when people ask why I have hearing aids. :D Thank you.

snippyxD 7

Monday 28 March 2011 0:47

this is when you text him and go "haha jk!" lol

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 28 March 2011 0:52

Or tell him so screw off.

KMilliron 2

Monday 28 March 2011 1:18

To which he'll reply "no thanks I'm done"

sleepydeath 4

Monday 28 March 2011 4:15

^win^

houstontxmex 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:51

Tell him that it was your friend that sent the messages and that she wants him to put it in her dookey chute!

kayvan 8

Monday 28 March 2011 1:10

Tell him that you're not a couple, then tell him that your "friend" has had a crush on him for a long time and that's why she pretended to be you. Tell him her schedule and let him know that she likes grand gestures like serenading her in public or delivering a large bouquet of flowers to her workplace. Problem solved.

Dallyni 22

Monday 28 March 2011 2:09

hahaha win!

j2013t 0

Monday 28 March 2011 3:29

thats right!

hunterfreed31 0

Monday 28 March 2011 3:52

haha thats an awesome idea!

Firebalone 13

Monday 28 March 2011 1:38

That person isn't your friend!

619warrior281 5

Monday 28 March 2011 1:45

you know whats even more disturbing? she was most likely touching your phone, AND herself at the same time....

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Monday 28 March 2011 1:48

I had a stalker once.....he still stalks me. O.o

fthku 13

Monday 28 March 2011 1:50

Tell him what happened, and then think of a creative way to show your friend it's not right to **** with people like that- and by that I don't mean you, I mean the kid. That "creepy" boy who's following is probably just a shy nerdy kid who wouldn't (couldn't?) harm anyone.