Intimacy: Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at...

By notinflammable - 27/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

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Same thing different taste

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

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By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

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It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

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What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

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You deserved it 1 057

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

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Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

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You deserved it 106 812

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

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You deserved it 4 518

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

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You deserved it 66 790

By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

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You deserved it 50 588

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

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You deserved it 1 279

Shock98 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:21

why on earth did you think this was a good idea in the first place?

marrajane 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:23

You know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing right? Inflammable things catch fire???

Comments

ACDCfan 0

Monday 29 June 2009 1:47

You idiot, it's the sock that's flammable. Semen is though.

TryToBeKind 0

Monday 29 June 2009 4:20

Flamable and inflamable mean the same thing. So in other words, your friend MAY have been saying that semen CAN catch fire. Here is why the two seemingly opposite words mean the same thing: Flamable = able to catch a flame. Inflamable = able to become inflamed. Does that make sense? Oh, and it's possible it was your SOCK that caught on fire, not the semen. Hm. and I guess if you wanted to, you could have put some semen on a cookie sheet and tried to set it on fire - that would have at least made it a bit safer.

psychedelia3 0

Monday 29 June 2009 4:20

You idiot. Definitions of inflammable on the Web: flammable: easily ignited wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inflammable Capable of burning; easily set on fire; Easily excited; set off by the slightest excuse; easily enraged or inflamed en.wiktionary.org/wiki/inflammable inflammability - The condition of being inflammable en.wiktionary.org/wiki/inflammability Capability of a combustible material to ignite easily, burn intensely or have rapid rate of flame spread. Also see Flammable. www.usg.com/Glossary.do gas or liquid able to ignite, explode or have adverse effect on humans or animals.