Kids: Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 724

You deserved it 40 599

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Same thing different taste

Like the beginning of a porno

By Anonymous - 15/07/2020 23:01

Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 1 600

By anonymous - 16/11/2011 03:17 - Canada

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 453

You deserved it 33 920

By guessthatsatrickthen - 31/10/2015 17:19 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 1 974

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 675

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 21 613

By mapleleafs34 - 17/01/2010 19:24 - United States

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 287

You deserved it 7 331

By nekkidness - 21/11/2012 21:06 - United States - Carthage

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 555

You deserved it 38 994

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 659

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 5 257

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 584

Next

Top comments

Jeffo193 13

Tuesday 9 October 2012 8:51

I think you know you deserved that one...don't think the kid did though.

unknown_user5566 26

Tuesday 9 October 2012 8:52

He got to see the goods without even taking you to dinner first? Score 1 for he neighbor boy.

Comments

iSlipped 4

Sunday 14 October 2012 3:41

Wish I was your neighbor.

zuzupetalsYO 11

Monday 15 October 2012 6:56

OP=dumb

aly01234567 5

Monday 29 October 2012 16:39

I feel bad for the kid

chinagirl3343 8

Saturday 10 November 2012 5:46

Really??? You're pathetic!!!

mermaidOFtheSEA 8

Friday 8 February 2013 8:43

lmfao ! poor little boy !

xs4u 13

Tuesday 19 March 2013 0:44

trauma much?

ThatOneTimeLord 25

Thursday 8 August 2013 8:07

Well did you put on a show?

Gracemonique3 18

Thursday 10 April 2014 11:07

.....What were you thinking, were you drunk? I'm gonna assume you were drunk

ethan_unoxx 29

Tuesday 26 August 2014 23:58

you traumatized the poor kid. next time, check the window to see who's knocking if you are going to do something stupid like that.

AnonPotato 16

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:09

Registered as a sex offender yet?

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The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 438

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

The Top

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 688

You deserved it 15 178

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 2 323

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 462

You deserved it 803

Today, I just finished a seventeen hour flight in economy. I actually managed to fall asleep, until a flight attendant shined her flashlight directly into my bad eye, triggering an excruciating pain response. Why? "I couldn't see your seatbelt." It was fastened, and the seat belt light wasn't even lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 113

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 40 988

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 5 296