Miscellaneous: Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break...

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 889

You deserved it 3 726

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By desertpunk75 - 19/01/2011 03:40 - United States

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 843

You deserved it 3 169

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

By joe1234 - 17/07/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 9 730

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 1 981

By Anonymous - 19/07/2012 04:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 80 965

Baby don't hurt me...

By whatislife1969 - 08/09/2017 10:00

Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 605

You deserved it 269

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 7 846

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 195

You deserved it 3 333

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 623

You deserved it 6 336

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 535

You deserved it 1 599

passwordis_fml 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:04

you have awesome friends

WONDERWB 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:08

The visual is quite amusing.

Comments

suaveneanderthal 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:43

time to get friends that smoke pot, you need to ditch your raging alcoholic friends because clearly it hasn't gotten you too far

ridiculous_gnome 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 21:07

Agreed!

me5 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:43

Yeah, I'd follow 11's advice...all the way

Kiwi_Splash 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:46

Uhh, then what?

Luckster 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:02

Wouldn't this classify as assault?

DoingItWrong 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:38

With a deadly fruit.

TheJuggler 0

Friday 15 January 2010 3:06

It was pretty close to being attempted grape.

TheOtherNewest1 6

Friday 15 January 2010 5:11

+5 internets for makin me laugh out loud.

sukatlife 0

Monday 4 October 2010 8:01

IM GONNA GRAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:28

Watermelons don't actually break open very easy. Your friends are douche nozzles.

thaprodigy_07 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:29

so did they succeed? lol

Z_Money 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:36

at least it was not a coconut. be thankful!

pinkballoon 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:49

Now I want to know what happens. :o

Babushka_Homyak 10

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:00

Your friends suck.

Darraghscoot 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:08

they are dickheads unless they recorded it of course! :L

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, I received a message telling me the guy I was seeing just wasn’t feeling the “vibe”. This would be fine, if he hadn’t given me the best sex, and the only sex I’ve enjoyed, in years and years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 208

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 995

You deserved it 3 508

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 902

You deserved it 31 068

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 299

You deserved it 2 584

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 084

You deserved it 2 121

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 863

Same thing different taste

Baby don't hurt me...

Top comments

Comments