Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 7 022

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Same thing different taste

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 3 184

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 023

You deserved it 11 617

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 436

You deserved it 8 032

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 347

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 7 122

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 464

You deserved it 9 862

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 755

You deserved it 5 994

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 00:02

Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 841

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 546

You deserved it 8 866

fudgepirate 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:07

be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!

FistFightingJesu 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:12

say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."

Comments

Doctor_Stronge 0

Monday 17 January 2011 15:14

I read these comments expecting a bunch of clever large dick jokes and all I saw were some dumbasses arguing over grammar, I thought all was lost until 66 saved the day. Thank you number 66.

RyNo24 4

Monday 17 January 2011 15:26

ydi for having a monstrous **** haha

sculp91 0

Monday 17 January 2011 15:26

lol see if u have a giant **** girls get scared. 7 inches perfect size!!

thatguy326 0

Monday 17 January 2011 15:38

how is this a fml? it's deff a good thing lol

perdix 29

Monday 17 January 2011 16:07

Why couldn't she give you a ******* as a consolation prize? The head on down to a bar where non-virgins hang out and tell them this story. Some of them will know how to handle you.

mariluvs 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:09

HAHAHAHA!!!!!Damn that sucks for you!!!!XD

Gstone 4

Monday 17 January 2011 16:20

yeah that happened to me too, altho when my gf left me i went and ****** my ex ex girlfriend :D and she enjoyed very. much my big dick

ensfast 0

Friday 29 April 2011 17:08

bull shit

thumper_tigr 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:31

Get you a girl who isn't a virgin, she'll appreciate a good size!

FruitSalad4225 0

Monday 17 January 2011 17:14

On the bright side, it sounds like it's pretty big.

danz123 7

Monday 17 January 2011 17:22

Well I'm not surprised, since she did call your penis, "that thing." As in, get that thing out of my face, right? To be honest, why didn't you retaliate by calling her ******, "that 'bucket', which will never please me"