Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave...

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 487

You deserved it 11 464

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Same thing different taste

By horsefuck - 07/08/2015 12:51 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 6 892

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 717

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 750

You deserved it 42 640

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 720

You deserved it 18 488

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 258

You deserved it 37 892

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 3 890

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 59 433

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 735

You deserved it 5 684

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 831

You deserved it 13 049

brokenly 5

Tuesday 23 October 2012 23:59

My comment sucks.

LiterOfCola 16

Tuesday 23 October 2012 23:59

I'd say ask her for a ******** but...

Comments

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:16

24 hour Walgreens? Go get more condoms or do other stuff that doesn't involve having intercourse.

theluckyones 10

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:19

She obviously doesn't have hands or else she wouldn't have used her teeth and he would've just got a hand job.. Poor girl. FHL (I'm joking guys)

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:19

Well you can do other things if you know what I mean. Or watch the soap of you're in to that kind of thing.

tnlander 20

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:19

Backdoor not baby!!!

Mandeeplease 6

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:19

I'm sure it makes it much worse that you're watching soap operas. All those babes. Sorry guy.

brand0n93 5

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:27

Just take it out before you cum like how they do in the pornos

Zomg_Okay 26

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:32

The whole point of wearing the condom is so she doesn't get pregnant or they don't give each other something nasty. All the pull-out method accomplishes is keeping stupidity in our gene pool. [EDIT] For ****'s sake, you're 19. You shouldn't need to be told that **** doesn't mirror real sex and you definitely shouldn't need to be told that pulling out doesn't work.

xNephilim 18

Wednesday 24 October 2012 5:22

The reason they pull out in **** is to have a nice cumshot. Not to prevent pregnancy. Also, the chicks in **** are ALL on birth control, plus they usually use spermicides afterwards.

Toshido 10

Wednesday 24 October 2012 0:29

Maybe you should put the condom on yourself...instead of expecting someone else to do it for you. Or stop being lazy watching soaps, and bitching about how bad your life is because a condom ripped and go get more.

laden_swallow09 34

Thursday 25 October 2012 3:47

It was supposed to be an intimate act, her wrapping him up in a rubber.

Toshido 10

Thursday 25 October 2012 5:04

True, but that doesn't change the fact, that the OP is bitching about it like it's the end of the world. Like he was probably sitting there with his arms crossed and pouting. Instead of just sitting there he could have gone out and bought more.