Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room....

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 507

You deserved it 13 066

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Same thing different taste

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 424

Uncomfortable

By maidmyday - 12/08/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 183

You deserved it 7 752

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 370

You deserved it 120 492

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 23 088

Letting off steam

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 719

You deserved it 11 212

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 9 205

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 8 945

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 665

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 3 307

Check these out!

By elevenharries - 03/06/2010 08:54 - United Kingdom

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 42 370

UnderstoodCat 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:11

Perverted people...

iLazy 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:20

Hide YO kids hide yo wife

Comments

dvdp112 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:48

you went to a fancy motel they had "drapes"

insanez58 11

Friday 10 June 2011 12:49

somebody was trying to make a movie

Stefani213 0

Friday 17 June 2011 4:49

I'll say lol

dvdp112 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:51

very fancy motel they had "drapes". I've never been in a motel with "drapes".

mexicotoucher 7

Friday 10 June 2011 12:57

We get it...

djsquintz 0

Friday 10 June 2011 17:48

we don't need the clarification.

PeteyPablo12308 20

Sunday 12 June 2011 8:08

Would you stfu about the "drapes?" No one gives a ****. What a ridiculous reason to bitch about an fml.

StuckInReality89 2

Friday 10 June 2011 12:55

Perhaps they're British? I believe they're called drapes over there.

geeksaresexy 18

Friday 10 June 2011 15:49

I thought 'drapes' was an american thing we say curtains :/

lakeybalboa 0

Friday 10 June 2011 16:04

It's in Canada we say drapes sometimes but more often curtains.

fruitmasterpuff 2

Friday 10 June 2011 18:37

I'm from New Orleans and we have always referred to then as drapes.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Friday 10 June 2011 19:06

I'm from Virginia and I call them curtains. Weird isn't it?

Jacobt24 19

Friday 10 June 2011 19:24

I'm in New Mexico and we call them curtains.

dudeitsdanny 9

Friday 10 June 2011 20:08

I'm from California, and we call it hair. We call our carpets pubes. Someone took the metaphor too far. But, really, I've heard both pretty often.

Naaboo 0

Friday 10 June 2011 20:10

No im from england, and we call them curtains lol. Dont know where the hell OP's from :/

sonangedemusique 2

Friday 10 June 2011 20:22

Drapes and curtains are technically two different things. Drapes are the much heavier, usually fancier ones. That's what I was taught, anyway.

cmw_69 3

Friday 10 June 2011 23:02

haa , im from virginia too & everybody I know calls them curtains

maz255 10

Saturday 11 June 2011 9:07

i think them chinese boys call them drapes.. hmmm

mysoubriquet 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:49

Drapes are heavier and longer than curtains. it's not a British vs American thing, it's an upper-class vs middle-class vs working class distinction. It's just like saying "couch" rather than "sofa".