Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle... - FML

By zetuga - 01/04/2015 07:40 - United Kingdom - Luton

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 500

You deserved it 5 359

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Same thing different taste

By soldier - 06/05/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 633

You deserved it 10 561

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 12:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 028

You deserved it 5 783

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 574

You deserved it 24 381

By LostInSunday - 15/08/2016 08:11

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 270

You deserved it 2 806

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 13 425

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 279

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 661

You deserved it 44 720

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 838

You deserved it 5 813

By Belt issues - 09/06/2016 12:21 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 1 484

Next

Top comments

Peter_Ohnigian 14

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:22

Could someone explain to me what happened in fluent English?

venomousflower 24

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:22

I'm confused

Comments

djcharles99 6

Thursday 2 April 2015 3:32

that mean you got that chicken nuggeeeeeet *plies voice*

nobiscis 7

Thursday 2 April 2015 4:01

Somebody got a bonerrr

KaylaTackett 18

Thursday 2 April 2015 5:27

Uh...what?

brittanymaee 6

Thursday 2 April 2015 8:11

Still don't get it someone explain

forsook 12

Thursday 2 April 2015 8:21

To anyone who's confused, I believe the good sir had a sudden influx of blood to the pelvic region, presumably from the stimulation of having a presumably attractive woman (or effeminate male, though no judgement here. Odd terminology if she was a he, but I digress) sitting upon his legs, and the "F", in fml (pun intended) stems from the poor bloat being embarrassed by this unexpected surprise. Just my theory, of course.

xKRIEG_SCHWEINx 11

Thursday 2 April 2015 13:07

didn't have a belt on, you had a hard on...

chodemeisteruno 3

Thursday 2 April 2015 20:12

Bc you're a chode meister

NellyFC35 19

Thursday 2 April 2015 20:13

was it your winky?

caradalporto 7

Saturday 4 April 2015 2:22

i dont understand

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Sunday 5 April 2015 2:43

I feel like I'm the only one who understood it straight away

ExtremeEncounter 32

Friday 24 April 2015 22:16

What was it?

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Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 961

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, while working at a hotel, I had a guest return his room key in my hands for once instead of throwing it on the counter. Progress, right? Except that it was covered in snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 654

You deserved it 219

Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 095

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 114

Today, after going to the convenience store and getting my card declined, the clerk let me come back home with all the things I'd bought so I could look for money and pay with cash instead, so I went back to pay a few minutes later. Karma paid back the goodwill 3 minutes later by making me burn my left hand with boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 240

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver told me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listened to him for 20 minutes, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charged me £5.80 and my boss gave me a warning for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 286

You deserved it 3 437

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 2 977