Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle...

By zetuga - 01/04/2015 07:40 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 500

You deserved it 5 359

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Same thing different taste

By soldier - 06/05/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 633

You deserved it 10 561

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 12:30 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 028

You deserved it 5 783

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 574

You deserved it 24 381

By LostInSunday - 15/08/2016 08:11

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 270

You deserved it 2 806

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 13 425

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 279

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 661

You deserved it 44 720

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 838

You deserved it 5 813

By Belt issues - 09/06/2016 12:21 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 1 484

Peter_Ohnigian 14

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:22

Could someone explain to me what happened in fluent English?

venomousflower 24

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:22

I'm confused

Comments

HowlingHero 16

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:38

April fools.... They did this so we'd flip our shit and it worked. Well played FML team.

pimpmilk69 18

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:40

could it be your dick?

pkypereira 11

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:41

I think FML has been hacked...

pimpmilk69 18

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:42

why and how so

B1ackthesun 31

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:56

Or maybe it's just April fools...

eleanorrigby90 19

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:42

I don't understand how this made it through. The 3 newest posts all have terrible spelling...

Xobubblyxo 23

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:43

It took me 10 minutes of trying to read the random FMLs to realize that it was April Fools Day

citrusfruit 12

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:43

It's an April fools joke guys chill

fie26 9

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:44

for april fools, they are letting anything through moderation

Zeishah 26

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:46

English man. God's gift to mankind. Please! Use it!

crazyblind 3

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:48

Omg. All of these are making my head hurt. The grammar alone makes me shudder. Dear FML, please stop.

Markovski 18

Wednesday 1 April 2015 15:56

Nice bro!!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 75

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, my new job e-mailed to tell me the role was no longer available, leaving me to start my job search all over again. My notice at my current job ends this week. But it's OK, because as compensation for my 'distress', the company sent £100 worth of vouchers... to the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 489

You deserved it 269

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 90

Today, I went for a job interview. I'd resigned at my current job and applied for somewhere closer to home. They hired me on the spot, and as I was leaving, I saw my abusive ex-boyfriend working in the store. So… now I'm working alongside my ex who abused me for two years. Time to apply elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 100

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 4 392

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 710

You deserved it 6 974

Today, I fell asleep for 20 minutes during my first final in law school. I took a $70k loan to be here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 5 052

Same thing different taste

Unexpected

Rushed

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