Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my...

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 413

You deserved it 6 838

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Same thing different taste

Realistic

By IBleedArbor - 16/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 302

You deserved it 5 027

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 637

You deserved it 3 027

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 7 961

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 3 977

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 932

You deserved it 5 719

Thanks

By Appelflap - 29/03/2013 22:18 - Belgium - Sint-niklaas

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 642

You deserved it 2 807

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 104

You deserved it 8 900

By daddylove - 12/06/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 6 923

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 042

You deserved it 2 838

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 16:50 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 734

You deserved it 5 523

izzybd 20

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:48

Way to rub it in, Dad

Michael903 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 7:49

He's just jerking your chain...

Comments

sdroze1389 31

Tuesday 25 February 2014 10:02

what did you want him to say? "write a song about it taylor swift"

skipper2009 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 11:15

Sound advice

LennyComa 39

Tuesday 25 February 2014 11:49

It will help centre yourself and clear your head.

brandoneyez1 25

Tuesday 25 February 2014 12:36

If you feel that way go get her.. Don't give up

shutupmichaela 18

Tuesday 25 February 2014 12:37

when in doubt, rub one out.

duuuh1 11

Tuesday 25 February 2014 12:56

The endorphins you get from "rubbing one out" will actually make you feel better, the advice was solid.

acetl87 12

Tuesday 25 February 2014 13:22

I'm envious of your close relationship with your Dad. You feel comfortable sharing with him your relationship problems and he shares his advice. maybe he said that to make you laugh? you may have lost your girlfriend, but at least you have a cool Dad.