Love: Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale...

By jasmith - 18/11/2012 07:45 - United States - Addison

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 049

You deserved it 3 560

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 769

You deserved it 36 011

Healthy relationship

By scared - 24/06/2020 23:02

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 575

By gabbykinz13 - 08/03/2012 21:48 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 57 214

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

By Andrew - 30/10/2012 06:08 - United States - Monroe

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 931

You deserved it 46 533

Hard act to follow

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 13 446

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 4 069

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

Food for thought

By Whatthehell - 18/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 173

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 131

bubina 14

Sunday 18 November 2012 16:35

I guess she pillaged and plundered your balls.

lelo007 11

Sunday 18 November 2012 16:36

Kindly take the wooden spoon from her and return the favor by whacking her in the forehead with it.

Comments

ViviMage 38

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:10

Next time, sic her own Deadly Nadder on her!

DoxIxHAVExTo 10

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:33

Well, hello blatant domestic abuse...

sooners80 2

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:34

I would of kicked her ass out.

Mindwarp 4

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:39

Wood on wood? Thats nuts, maybe even ri'dick'ulous.

gumbyjunior1 0

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:53

If that is what she will do with a wooden spoon, what will she do to you with a leather belt?

skittlestrailmix 14

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:56

I think this girl has been listening to Amon Amarth for too long...

buckdharma 36

Monday 19 November 2012 0:14

tell her your allegiance is with the dallas cowboys. history shows they own the vikings.

outoftown 26

Monday 19 November 2012 0:21

Viking, or dominatrix-in-training? Since you're in Texas, if she gets a bullwhip, don't assume she's going to the rodeo.

xmaximusx 12

Monday 19 November 2012 1:01

She wacks your nuts for no reason Kick her in the box!!

xmaximusx 12

Monday 19 November 2012 1:01

She wacks your nuts for no reason Kick her in the box!!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 126

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I agree, your life sucks 43 526

You deserved it 6 510

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I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 2 123

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I agree, your life sucks 2 841

You deserved it 175

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I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 1 891

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 090

You deserved it 2 829