Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 922

You deserved it 10 730

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Same thing different taste

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 300

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 5 972

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 474

You deserved it 10 308

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 829

You deserved it 6 108

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 795

You deserved it 617

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 222

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 7 399

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 6 466

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

tamaradav93 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 6:25

Wow...

BlackCloudedSldr 5

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:04

You deserved it because you have no backbone AND no balls. Ditch that hooker haha

nevershoutrun 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 0:49

Maybe your a butter face: sexy body ugly face

tonijulie 20

Monday 25 June 2012 15:15

YDI for even being with such an up herself girl lol

sunz 1

Wednesday 8 August 2012 10:46

Come on man, like really??

ChibyKTA 3

Monday 24 September 2012 5:53

Wow. Sorry op. Either your gf doesnt like your face or she has some sort of suffocation fetish.

urbanimpression 6

Monday 29 October 2012 16:55

She thinks your face is ugly lol

Salem222 4

Tuesday 13 November 2012 19:36

Wow you actually continued on with a bag on your head?? I would have been so out of there.

Kathts7 12

Monday 3 December 2012 11:04

Please dump her!

The_9th_Doctor 18

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:07

yup, cause that's why

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

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Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 78

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 421

You deserved it 45 588

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 3 458

Today, my girlfriend is pregnant, grumpy, bad tempered, argumentative, indecisive, violent, vicious, insulting, and dismissive. I mean, she was all those things anyway even before getting pregnant, so really nothing's changed except she has a belly now. I only stick around for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 039

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 236

You deserved it 20 961

Today, my boss came to my desk and asked me how the work is going, then he just walked away in the middle of me explaining a problem in the project. When I wanted to make an appointment with his secretary, she told me he isn't going to have any time this and next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 131

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 330

You deserved it 9 469