Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his...

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 033

You deserved it 4 860

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 311

You deserved it 7 649

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 11 029

Never trust the messenger

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 144

You deserved it 20 998

By anon. - 03/01/2011 11:37 - New Zealand

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 085

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 6 822

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 130

You deserved it 2 669

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 850

You deserved it 3 102

Get on with it

By deflated - 09/08/2009 16:54 - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 821

You deserved it 59 757

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 076

You deserved it 3 888

sawdy 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

You don't get to drive, he doesn't get to keep his daughter a virgin... seems simple enough

Scott_George 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

that has always been my greatest nightmare...

Comments

EG_dod 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:24

bait and switch method, that sucks.

Eiotlrd 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:46

I'd spend the next hour explaining her daughter in detail in every position.

LJtheGreat 0

Monday 25 May 2009 21:09

#86 is a ******* bitch you pull a strap you better be ready to use it ******. Your threats aint doing shit I ****** your little daughter in the ass and she loved it.

lemony_music_grl 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:09

oh shit that sucks lol..

DanielKrick 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:40

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FYL wow that's something my ex girlfriend's dad would do... that or just forbid me to enter his house...

myfairyoshi_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:00

LOL #3 and #9... ROFL

omigod 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:33

u should respond by getting his daughter pregrant

Dalarsco 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 0:35

#3 was spot on. If they guy is going to dangle that awesomeness in front of your face then you should totally do what you wanted to do anyway.

Bertrandberticus 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 0:53

#38 is butthurt that this fml went through but his didn't. #38, it is funny because another man is giving the OP advice about masturbation, and that is awkward and strange.