Love: Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I...

By SwAGkiLlS - 15/07/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 5 075

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

Spicy date

By veggiedude - 08/05/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 6 654

Cute

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 18:00 - Canada - Québec

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 230

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 669

You deserved it 9 966

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 891

You deserved it 4 664

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 014

You deserved it 9 487

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 089

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 10 971

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 19 407

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 191

You deserved it 9 764

mbusey 20

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:14

That's cool! Now you can tell her secretly when you want sex

trippythehippy 6

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:16

Tell her you want to RAWR her meow

Comments

ecks51 3

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:46

Did you tell her "neigh" and "don't let the barn door hit you on the way out"?

GuitarzanNation 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:48

So develop your own complex dialect ^_^ I'm sure it make you both feel accomplished

onelove858 5

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:51

"look away we're about to start making animal noises"

Sizzle91 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 19:55

Dude go with it! It is obvious she is in to you. Trust me keeping the romance spicy is a good thing. Women are more mature then we are for the most part, and do get board faster then we do. So get crack'en Tiger..