By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 714
You deserved it 26 844
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Top comments

infantrygirl 0

Lindsey, what the hell do you mean by that?? First, 99.9999% of military men and women would NOT overreact like that, so your comment is unfair. Second, if he is in the military, and he has PTSD, you, as an ignorant civvi, have NO right to judge him. Learn some respect for those who risk their lives for your freedom.

283 22
Big_Pick 0

My natural instincts are to scream like a girl and run away. It's a miracle my species has survived.

135 1

Comments

mikeyy_fml 0

you need help.were do you live? Compton?

0 20
Chaith 16

If the OP is quite finished tugging on himself, I'd like to add that: There is no conceivable way you fully turned around and threw a knee to her midsection without even realizing it's someone you know. You're not trained that specifically, and you're not quick enough. The sensitive touch or the non-threatening gesture would be enough. It probably sounded cool in your head, though.

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ETFQT8U 0

My teacher elbowed his girlfriend with instinct. He teaches karate, it was over between them. hah

20 1
vno_fml 1

I know it's fun to think you're smart enough to call shenanigans on the OP and all that, but my ex could have written this. I've definitely been the girlfriend in this situation. It only takes once to learn not to play that game again.

12 0
MukyDaCookie 0

Guy's it is completly possible to turn and knee someone without taking time to see who it is. When you turn and knee someone, you don't turn, stop, aim then swing your knee. You pivot on one foot and bring the knee up as you turn, jamming it into the persons gut as soon as you face them. It doesn't leave alot of time for "Oh! This is my girlfriend! ABORT!"

22 2
BrandonBPCohen 0

I've done this before...to numerous amounts of people...Lol it was when I was reading the Jason Bourne trilogy...

0 0
mister_moops 0

what the ****? how is that out of instinct?

0 0
dragonstrike94 8

Its a sled defense mechanism the body learns in fighting sports you have to make an instant reaction to your opponents moves with almost no time for thought I accidentally punched my friend in the throat in a similar situation

0 3
bouncybounce 0

hey at least its better than my ex. i was too quiet one morning when my boyfriend was sleeping and apparently me trying not to wake him triggered his military training so that when i leaned down to wake him gently, he ended up on top of me with my throat between his hands. so i can totally see that this would be possible.

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Curbstomps 0

Honestly, I don't take these seriously, I expect half of them to be fake. I just laugh.

0 0
NaturallyUnlucky 0

Don't you hate when that happened? I did something similar to a coworker once... and I'm a girl. Comes with growing up with four brothers and getting used to attacks.

0 0