Love: Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and...

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 714

You deserved it 26 844

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 060

You deserved it 4 732

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 017

You deserved it 7 504

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 2 367

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 794

You deserved it 81 435

By goddamitme - 21/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 138

You deserved it 12 932

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 38 448

infantrygirl 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:40

Lindsey, what the hell do you mean by that?? First, 99.9999% of military men and women would NOT overreact like that, so your comment is unfair. Second, if he is in the military, and he has PTSD, you, as an ignorant civvi, have NO right to judge him. Learn some respect for those who risk their lives for your freedom.

Big_Pick 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:15

My natural instincts are to scream like a girl and run away. It's a miracle my species has survived.

Comments

zfchatroulette 24

Friday 15 February 2013 18:50

Some girls are into that, you know... hahahah

MarkToast 19

Tuesday 12 November 2013 22:49

well instinct is the key word here. ypu cant help but do it

duma191 21

Friday 13 December 2013 22:18

your username says Joe. is that short for GIJoe?

ilovemychem 22

Wednesday 1 January 2014 23:47

Who does that lol

nachosbabygurl 9

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:12

what are you a ninja

hillgerb 16

Thursday 31 July 2014 6:28

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes when someone scares/surprises me I've tried to hit them or something. I even busted a girls lip on accident cause she jumped on me, and I don't even take martial arts.

superguydude200 5

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:38

That's a bit overkill. Are you some sort or ex-SAS movie supervillain?

Mcstud1y 30

Sunday 19 July 2015 21:21

I would do the same thing, if it was in public, it wasn't your fault

TheKingOfHearts 19

Tuesday 4 August 2015 16:38

You did that LIKE A BOSS!

catlover5299 18

Sunday 31 July 2016 10:33

I have had no martial arts/ military/ combat training, and my natural instinct if someone did that would instantly be to spin around and pinch what/whoever is there...