Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

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Same thing different taste

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 9 612

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 967

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 16:12 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 317

You deserved it 5 695

By WetPhone - 15/06/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 621

You deserved it 11 060

By Anonymous - 07/11/2013 17:12 - Ireland

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 684

You deserved it 4 049

Irrational response

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 100

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 669

You deserved it 5 408

What just happened?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 6 173

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 3 360

Ksweety_fml 27

Sunday 4 August 2019 22:57

Time to leave her. that's going to far.

BigSissy 14

Sunday 4 August 2019 22:04

Get. Out. Now!!!!!!!!

Comments

iamlight 6

Monday 5 August 2019 3:29

What the actual ****? That’s psychotic

RichardPencil 30

Monday 5 August 2019 3:48

She sounds crazy! I’ll bet she’s wild in bed. What’s her number?

Mungolikecandy 19

Monday 5 August 2019 7:37

Every comedian needs to judge their audience. You may have misjudged this one.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 5 August 2019 7:42

Comedy is about the unexpected. Everyone else has made comments that are very predictable. I’ll bet no one’s laughed at a single one. I zigged when everyone else zagged. I’m sure everyone laughed, felt ashamed of themselves for laughing and thumbed my comment down. Then, they laughed again.

blondie45 21

Monday 5 August 2019 3:48

You mean your ex girlfriend. Right???

Mungolikecandy 19

Monday 5 August 2019 7:36

If your girlfriend would do that you are in an abusive relationship. She sounds like a very dangerous person.

mccuish 25

Monday 5 August 2019 8:46

Red flag

Miss_Red 18

Monday 5 August 2019 10:31

This is domestic violence. It doesnt matter if you're in a hetero or same-sex relationship. If she feel she can do this to you, it will only get worse if you stay. There is no legitimate excuse for her actions. Please file a police report and leave her. Please.

A Frenchy in Eire 31

Monday 5 August 2019 11:43

That's serious assault and domestic abuse. Report her and get out of that relationship before things escalate.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 5 August 2019 19:38

You're also a victim of assault. Dump her, and report her to the police.

TxKitten79 10

Monday 5 August 2019 20:18

You SHOULD mean your EX-girlfriend. This women assaulted you, the assualt resulted in injuries. This chick is clearly unstable.

AmbrosiaFan 18

Tuesday 6 August 2019 16:14

First off, you mean "ex who is now in jail for assaulting me by dumping boiling water on me who will be paying my medical bills", right? Sucks, she's batshit. Luckily you didn't put a ring on it yet.