Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party....

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 509

You deserved it 23 660

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 761

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 557

You deserved it 1 617

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 226

You deserved it 24 827

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 090

You deserved it 27 484

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370

You deserved it 5 274

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 838

You deserved it 5 155

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 12 446

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 682

You deserved it 19 645

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

dawnimus 21

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

Farting turns you on? Wow, that's a very specific fetish...

hotshot0185 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

You'll last longer in time.

Comments

ashliilynise 11

Tuesday 16 July 2013 10:30

Oh that's lovely.

_neurotic_ 3

Tuesday 16 July 2013 10:45

Thank god she didn't poop, That way you'd be just wet!

LennyComa 39

Tuesday 16 July 2013 10:55

o.0 Mkay.....yeah don't really know what to say...I'd see a psychologist about that.

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:01

That's pretty funny. You've got a seriously weird kink. Or maybe it was a one time thing. Who knows. But this made me laugh really hard.

dlowry004 14

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:02

Hilarious. Only way to sum it up. Haha

kitsune309 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:24

A ******** of a different sort.

jedrools 16

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:25

you know came isnt actually what its called right?

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:31

marry her.

xMew 7

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:44

Dude that blows!

LittleMagicWolf 7

Tuesday 16 July 2013 11:55

...What?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 493

You deserved it 7 719

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 227

You deserved it 24 560

Today, I found out that I’m the only guy in my family that's circumcised. When I asked my parents why they did it, they told me that they wanted me to be “different”. I have 3 older brothers and 5 older cousins. I finally get their helmet jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 526

You deserved it 399

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 026

You deserved it 5 476

Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 92

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 815

You deserved it 4 652