Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML - FML

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 5 484

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Same thing different taste

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 930

You deserved it 5 124

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 890

You deserved it 5 086

By migsman - 15/09/2010 02:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 19 211

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 293

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Boone

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 170

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 285

You deserved it 6 714

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 757

You deserved it 2 891

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 824

You deserved it 3 657

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 181

Next

Top comments

imaginaryvoice 18

Friday 23 December 2011 16:09

"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 23 December 2011 16:15

Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.

Comments

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 14 June 2012 0:01

Yell at her for being a bitch! You can't help your breathing OP.

hurrican_fml 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 6:39

Tell her to breath more

skibutter 1

Thursday 9 August 2012 18:49

PMS is a bitch

wubbazugg 5

Wednesday 5 September 2012 8:22

Pms much?

zfchatroulette 24

Thursday 24 January 2013 2:37

gaz?

DestinyNiya 33

Tuesday 9 April 2013 20:49

leave her!

butman 9

Wednesday 19 June 2013 7:26

That has a name. It's called a period.

dannyman_08 6

Tuesday 8 October 2013 17:17

Had the same problem.. Dumb her

Baller_Bob 17

Monday 17 March 2014 3:24

Cough cough period cough cough

zandylove 7

Tuesday 29 April 2014 8:57

Throw chocolate at her.

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

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You deserved it 123

The Top

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 2 003

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 075

Today, my girlfriend invited her sorority sister, who fled an abusive relationship, to live with us without asking me. This wouldn't be a problem, but her friend is easily two points hotter than her and…. thirsty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 1 871

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 186

You deserved it 8 830

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426