Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we...

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 146

You deserved it 3 736

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 652

You deserved it 2 160

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 60 594

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 599

You deserved it 3 290

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 2 927

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 614

You deserved it 4 063

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 535

You deserved it 2 749

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 460

You deserved it 1 815

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 3 841

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

TheRealBruce 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:04

well y'all better put them in a safe

macdaddymady 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:03

man that's some scary shit, it's time to move

Comments

littlemissalex 3

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:57

I suggest you sell your house as quickly as possible. It's time to move into a new neighborhood.

ohmandapants 16

Tuesday 19 July 2011 7:27

You have been warned.

metalhead5564 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 7:31

Because that's not creepy at all...

douchenugget 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 7:47

haha reminds me of epic meal time!

danican5 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 8:05

the robbers will replace the shampoo for permanant red hair dye.

beastlyburger 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 9:06

****** awesome. not the first part. the soul part

humidmark 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 9:47

Epic Thief Time?

secerodylan1 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 10:30

was it the devil who stole?

Vagabond89 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 18:50

someone's been watchin epic meal time!! check on YouTube maybe they have epic thief time!! lol

SLIMGINGER 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 19:43

haahahahahahaha wtf!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 295

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 907

You deserved it 3 787

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 2 815

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 221

You deserved it 8 174

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 397

You deserved it 2 985

Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 149

Today, one of my clients called me, saying that he received my email. When I asked what I could do for him, he replied, “Well, what does the email say?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 190

Same thing different taste

Neighborhood watch

Top comments

Comments