Intimacy: Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 917

You deserved it 8 612

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Same thing different taste

Take what you can

By omglifee - 20/12/2009 04:13 - Canada

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 912

You deserved it 4 129

By sneezeattack - 14/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 319

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 599

You deserved it 4 982

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 093

You deserved it 7 827

By AllergicToRosesAndSingle - 15/02/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 065

You deserved it 446

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 340

You deserved it 1 185

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 3 202

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 116

By rinakitty94 - 29/06/2015 17:30 - United States - Sunset

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 2 247

texanengineer 4

Monday 20 June 2011 12:06

...so more roses then?

rbubbles 20

Monday 20 June 2011 12:14

you're mean, why don't you try giving him hints on what to do bed next time. the flowers were a lovely gesture though so I hope you appreciated them instead of having a sook about sneezing

Comments

SmittyJA24 26

Monday 20 June 2011 13:56

... And you married him ... WHY??

Troy_K 7

Monday 20 June 2011 15:37

Maybe because marriage isn't entirely about sex to most people.

Troy_K 7

Monday 20 June 2011 15:40

Hopefully you wouldn't not marry someone because of that. You work on it lol. Read all the other comments.

sblylaw 0

Monday 20 June 2011 18:47

yeah but you marry someone and that's the only person you have sex with for the rest of you'd life.... would you wanna be stuck with that???? Lol that's all they were tryin to say.

0bscured_1 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:16

glad to know what you look for in a relationship. some people have better reasons to love someone than a good shag. some people have a soul. please, DIAF :)

sourgirl101 28

Monday 20 June 2011 13:59

I agree with the people that say communication is key. Damn grab his hands and show him what you like! Your husband tried to do something nice for you and you still find room to bitch? IMO You seem like a hard person to please anyways and probably just lies there like a corpse.

Bartimaeus 7

Monday 20 June 2011 22:50

Unless he's into necrophilia, most guys do not like it when their girl just sits there like a dead body and bounces around, only getting up to bitch at him for "not doing it right". Thank him for the flowers and talk to him. cummunicate.

BobsUrAunty 2

Tuesday 21 June 2011 3:34

starfish xD

milanowjoseph 2

Monday 20 June 2011 14:07

Then get a divorce you dumb ****.

sxe_beast 11

Monday 20 June 2011 14:10

LOLZ your husband is a newb.

Ikdiy2009 0

Monday 20 June 2011 14:12

um... you need to communicate better if he can't please you. tell him what you like instead of making him fail at figuring it out. Not all of us are the same when it comes to being pleased, different things work for different people and if you just guide him a little, you will have a lot more fun.