Love: Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes...

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 3 110

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Same thing different taste

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Pregnancy woes

By Spraylady - 29/02/2016 21:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 326

You deserved it 1 784

Crack wars

By Grimmy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 143

You deserved it 10 151

By Shantwozzlah - 26/03/2012 16:15 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 853

You deserved it 3 590

By makehimscrubit - 14/09/2016 03:18 - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 150

You deserved it 1 389

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 439

You deserved it 6 154

Get up!

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 288

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 142

Do ya think I'm sexy?

By wifelyduties - 17/04/2020 14:00

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 382

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10 - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 508

You deserved it 2 700

flockz 19

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:17

he's seen too many Pillsbury Doughboy commercials.

Someone648 10

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:23

Well... Urine for a horrible time....

Comments

FlyingPie 17

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:48

What a pisser.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:53

Every time he pokes your belly button kick him in the nads. Tell him this is your new favorite game.

chrisauh 4

Sunday 2 December 2012 20:59

That's assault.

1dvs_bstd 41

Saturday 1 December 2012 20:13

Wear his pants... When he tickles you, you pee on/in his pants.

kayaker83 4

Saturday 1 December 2012 20:13

Invest in some Depends lol

fluffykhan_23 4

Saturday 1 December 2012 20:21

He must be really pissing you off...

btz1231 3

Saturday 1 December 2012 20:55

every time he pokes you hit him in the nuts he'll get the hint eventually I'm sure

LolPieRofl 11

Saturday 1 December 2012 21:04

Well urine for trouble, i dont mean to push your buttons or anything but thats pretty messed up

Smeelover27 15

Saturday 1 December 2012 21:09

Give him an erection in public. Tell him that's your new favorite game.

Myo_fml 20

Saturday 1 December 2012 21:15

Admit it, who else poked their own belly buttons just to see after reading this?

vhivfe 3

Saturday 1 December 2012 23:07

Me!

teresee 8

Saturday 1 December 2012 21:24

Urine trouble now

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I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 94

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I agree, your life sucks 40 403

You deserved it 7 445

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I agree, your life sucks 25 662

You deserved it 3 170

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 113

You deserved it 10 794

Today, my mother once again brought up how I would have done so much better in my Track season if I just smiled while I ran. Apparently, if you just smile, your brain won't know you're in pain. I don't think it works like that, but thanks for the advice mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 1 048