By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML
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Top comments

MDoremis 38

I could name plenty of reasons he's the bad guy.

248 2
Eliiara 11

Addiction (I would assume) can unfortunately do that. It's a terrible thing to have to deal with for everyone involved.

194 1

Comments

Marynfrankie 19

You deserve better than that! I say go through with the divorce!

2 1
RedPillSucks 31

that seems like a lot of booze unless your share is a lot less than half. I'd say take him up on his offer. you can do bad by yourself. don't need a boozer to bring you down.

3 2
ELoni_fml 25

He's not the bad guy, he's the worst guy!

8 0
juggalo2 20

He needs serious help, but you do too. Start attending Al-Anon (support group for friends and family of alcoholics) so that you can get yourself right. If he doesn't get the message and start improving himself, you may have to alter the terms of your deal. An understanding support group will help you with the decision and process.

9 1
kellyem2 20

These groups can offer a great amount of support. In situations like these every choice can seem like the wrong one. Don't go through this alone, OP.

0 1
thatonetribute 31

Leave him, op.

0 0
ScooperScribbles 10

My guess would be that they split the cost so that an equal amount is being taken from both their paychecks rather than the entire amount from one account.

0 0
dannnngthatsux 19

Except #41, somehow he spent HER share of the rent. So it seems she gives him cash or a check and that didn't go where it should. Apparently his share did?

0 0
ohSNAPyall 26

Some people are talking as if the only problem is that the husband blew the rent money, or that he is an addict. What about the fact that he is unstable, unkind, abusive? You don't threaten divorce every time you're mad and then come back and ask why the other person is upset with you, as if nothing had happened.

12 0
juggalo2 20

The assumption is that the unstable, unkind and abusive behaviors stem from his addiction. Until he faceshis addiction, there's no hope for addressing the other problems.

4 1
marcranger 28

I don't necessarily agree. Plenty of people are assholes with or without addictions. Sure, he needs to get it together and stay away from alcohol, but cutting that alone probably isn't going to make him a better person unless he wants to be one.

6 0
DoomedGemini 37

My father WAS abusive, but as long as he's on his antidepressants he's actually very nice and happy. My brother is the same way, as soon as he's not taking his meds his anger is out of control. Some people ARE just abusive, but sometimes they do just have a problem. If it's unsafe, obviously leave. I don't want to encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to stay in hopes they'll change, my dad did not until after my mom divorced him and he found someone else. I just want to explain sometimes there are causes to the behavior.

0 0
marcranger 28

I know there can be mitigating factors, 73. I'm depressed myself, and I'm in much better control of my temper when I'm on meds. I just wanted to point out that some people are just awful no matter what, so OP shouldn't expect AA to be a magical fix for her boyfriend. In fact, I'd lean to accepting his "offer" of divorce either way.

2 0
DoomedGemini 37

That is definitely true. A big thing is if he's willing to even try to get better. He's still in denial it seems. If he refuses to even see something is wrong, there's really not much op can do. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, if he can't see something's wrong or is willing to try to get help.. Yeah, op needs to leave. And not the 'I'll try to be better' and nothing happens. If he's not going to actually try, you can't do anything.

0 0
ncparry 18

Wait...your share of the rent? You don't just pay it from one source considering you are married? Don't hang on to this one anymore, he's a loser.

2 10
dumdum1996 7

If I were you I'd take him up on that offer of a divorce.....sorry you have to deal with all this OP....

2 0
CrazyManNo9 29

Al-Anon for you. AA or divorce for him. It is a disease and he is sick, but only he can decide to get better. You need to decide the best for you and Al-Anon can help. I know. I am in AA.

5 0