You are an amazing husband. Hope you two get through everything ok!

This is just a guess, but perhaps your wife has a condition called Vaginismus. It's when the muscles around the ****** involuntarily contract, and that makes intercourse painful. Sometimes there's a psychological cause behind it, sometimes the cause can be unknown. Again, this is just a guess, I'm not an expert and don't pretend to be.

It's important to be able to talk about the emotional issues going on for you. If you can, maybe try and get support around that from a trusted friend, one who won't judge you or her. It says a lot about you that you don't want to add to her troubles by talking about your own, but you also deserve to express what you're feeling, so make sure you have a support network!

I absolute loath cheating of any kind, and unfortunately where I live it's so common and acceptable in the culture for men to just cheat on their wives no matter how loyal she is. They have no regard for the woman's feelings, they think it's perfectly fine to cheat on them (of course a woman cheats and she's treated like the scum of the earth) .It sickens me so much. To hear that you're loyal and plan to stay loyal even through these problems make me happy. :)

Masturbation can be a healthy way to get some relief. I know the church often frowns on it but I have had many interesting conversations with religious people including some ministers, who believe that there are times where a man can best respect his wife and her health and limitations by taking care of himself so that his needs do not become a problem in the marriage. You should talk to your minister or priest for a better idea of how your particular faith deals with situations like yours.

You are one heck of a husband

Hi OP! You're a good person and an awesome husband. However, the dick punching can't be good. :/ A little bubble bath and some Barry White would likely be healthier... It seems only one person mentioned it but have you two tried therapy? Depending on her issue it could be regular therapy or sex therapy. Also, you can go it alone, bearing that massive burden can lead to stress on the relationship as well. Believe me, trying to bear it all often leads to resentment. Good luck to you both OP.

Marry me please. You are a one in a million man. It's been 3 years and I still can't get my husband to stop watching ****. Even when I do everything he wants. You have a very lucky woman on your hand.

#106, what's wrong with your husband watching ****? I'm genuinely curious. I'm in a relationship and I watch **** on occasion. I think it can be healthy within a relationship.

Deadbedroom in reddit seems to have a good supportive community with people who have the same problem as you

You sound like a wonderful husband! I'm sure it's difficult for her, too. Hopefully she'll start feeling better soon and married life goes back to normal for you two

you got married around 20.....

Some people just see it as almost unfaithful, I believe.

#106. why is it a bad thing that your partner watchers ****?? im in a relationship and both my partner and I watched ****. never became an issue

You seem like an utterly selfless and altruistic human being (something I am not and will never claim to be). But since you posted on FML and all, don't you, as the OP, at least acknowledge that there is something to all the advice that people are doling out here? You've basically forgone talking to your wife and have gone straight to self-inflicted ****-punching and writing this FML. My point being: if you are willing to do literally *nothing* to put your needs at ease, what is the point of even complaining about them in a public forum? Props to being a perfect husband, because I know that I personally don't have the patience, even as an unmarried man. I have a very high sex drive and am virtually insatiable. You have my regards. But you have to do SOMETHING.

OP again. A couple of things: 1) I am not perfect, nor am I perfectly altruistic, nor a I selfless, etc. etc. 2) My wife is aware of the situation; she's certainly aware of her own issues, and she knows to at least some degree how I feel about it, both for her (which is more important) and for myself. I haven't put down what people said - I mean, if they were in the same situation and it worked for them, that's great, I guess. I did say that much of it wasn't for me, and it's not. I don't want an open marriage; I don't want anything or anyone else but my wife. **** isn't a good answer either - I'd be horrified to see my daughter or niece in such a production, and that would prevent it from being effective. Plus, it IS a sort of affair-by-proxy, and that doesn't work for me. So why complain here? Well, it's FML, not SeekForAnswers, because there IS no answer. She has physical concerns that I have not described here beyond, well, that. I totally get her issues; they're not exactly negotiable things. I don't blame her in the slightest for any of this. I was just venting, because the truth is, on a selfish plane, I feel like I'm kind of being jacked over here - not by her, because it's not something she can change, but just by life in general. I actually appreciate the feedback and empathy (and laugh every now and then at the snark.) It's all good - and in the long run, it's just what it is; my situation isn't gonna change, and it's something I will live with and have to live with for my own sense of self and worth. I said "in sickness and in health," and by golly I meant it.

It's because his attention need to be basically completely on her. if she does everything he wants/asks for, then that's an even bigger point to be made that she is trying to get his attention, but he would rather watch other women having sex, then pay attention to her

There are a lot of problems other than vaginal that could be the issue - pain problems from any number of health conditions, something else that causes the action to be painful, a condition that causes fatigue etc. Assumptions are useless with hundreds of potential issues or combinations. OP you are a good person and a good husband, the fact that so many people can't understand why you'd want to stay loyal is a sad thing. I hope you find a better way of relief, but ultimately you're the kind of partner most people are looking for, one who will love them even if they can't do normal things as easily, who will support them through health issues. Sadly it's rarer than you'd hope. Good luck with the future!

#121 - The problem is when the **** is more attractive than your partner. People need an emotional connection and if someone would rather jack off to a picture or video to take care of their own needs than come to you and have both your needs satisfied then that is actually emotionally draining and the person missing out feels unloved/unlovable.

#117 - What difference does it make if they got married at 20 or 40? He loves his wife and is willing to stand by her through their issues. That should be commended at any age.

#135, they were talking to #106 who was complaining about her husband of 3 years watching ****, when she's 22 so he's almost definitely also early-20s. AKA prime ****-watching age.

you are an awesome husband. As a female who, for various reasons, can very rarely have sex with my husband I am happy to see there are other guys out there willing to stick it out so to speak. I feel awful about my issues and do try to go at it when possible, but often I just physically can't, no matter how much I want to. I am lucky that I have a husband who, like you, understands and cares for me anyway.

Not to be a dick, but that's you and your experience. Not everyone is the same as you and I speak from my experience.

Um, okay? I was basically saying that it's just one of many possibilities, not that it was an absolute truth. I'm not sure what you think I was trying to imply? The main point of my comment was the fact that it doesn't necessarily have to be a physical issue to prevent someone from having sex and, of course, the "If she doesn't want to don't force her" point. Mostly the latter.

Google it.