To those saying that OP's wife "owes" him sex of some kind despite her having no desire to have sex due to her medical issues, that is called rape. Those who are saying he should convince her to 'give' him sex, that is called coercive rape. Being married is not a blanket statement of consent, rape rape of a legal spouse, whether through force or coercion is still rape. Sex without uncoerced consent is rape, and in this case, would be sexual abuse of a spouse. If you marry someone, it does NOT mean that you have the ability to ignore lack of consent any more than dating does. Spouses are not just very elaborate sex toys, they are living, breathing human (...in most cases) beings who have minds, personalities, and rights of their own, and forcing them to engage in sex with you when they do not desire it is a violation of the trust that should be in such a relationship. Those of you who said that he should bribe, coerce, or that she owes sex to the OP, please never date or get married as you literally said that, in the OP's shoes, you would be sexually abusing your wife. As to the OP himself: thank you for being a decent human being by not being a rapist, and for not cheating on your wife when she needs you for emotional support. Even if you did phrase it poorly because of, I would imagine, the 300 character limit. I would suggest a sex toy for yourself if your wife's illness is long term.

same prob here leg cramps and arthritis. .we can't have sex without her being in real pain...now what.......yeah OP I agree your life sucks

Wow OP! You are a fantastic person. Please tell me you have a twin brother that is available... I will immigrate anywhere in the world for a man like you. On a serious note, I hope you do find something that works for you both. It cannot be easy living like that a still carrying your own burdens. I find it very difficult to find people that understand my burdens and accept me for who I am, so I can only imagine what a strong person you are. Take care of yourself as well.

You can still be romantic and happy without the actual sex! Consider talking to her about sex toys or fleshlights; you vowed to spend the rest of your life with this person (and so far you're doing amazingly!) so why not be open about it? If she's happy with the idea that you love her lots but still have needs, it'd be easy for her to say yes! (Also, no risk of you cheating on a plastic/rubber tube...)

My wife has never had a sex drive to say. She wont do anything with me unless I start it. Then its not that great. So I resort to masturbating to pics of her friend.

Thanks for the post. Been in the same situation for over 4 years. It's been hard. I love her and I know she love me but I don't feel loved because of the lack of intimacy.

Sickness and in health man... Amazingly your wife is not in charge of your ability to get yourself off.

I can't believe the first thing I thought about was bj or hj I'm ruined

OP is a model husband.

First of all instead of punching yourself why dont you just whack off? And even if your wife can't have intercourse there are so many ways you 2 can be intimate. Sounds like you and your wife need to talk.