Miscellaneous: Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 41 596

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Same thing different taste

By thats what my ipod is for - 26/04/2013 17:34 - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 486

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 3 423

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 401

By Asterisk1009 - 29/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 659

You deserved it 17 087

By oldskoolfun - 26/12/2015 23:04 - United States - Warminster

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 419

You deserved it 10 688

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 16:14 - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 684

You deserved it 3 886

By kris - 22/08/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 810

You deserved it 2 766

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 18:10

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 686

You deserved it 7 350

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 665

Overreaction much?

By owngoalscored - 22/09/2018 22:00

Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 334

goldbugs 4

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:32

OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...

taymichele16 15

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:31

More like f your father's life

Comments

moo77_fml 20

Sunday 28 June 2015 0:52

Surprised ur dad didn't grass you up!! Rather took one for the team .. Sort it out.. You'll need you dad more than **** mate :)

Krypt1c 11

Sunday 28 June 2015 1:19

You need punched in the face.

Candied_person 13

Sunday 28 June 2015 1:26

Ok **** she trippin for

themetalstickman 19

Sunday 28 June 2015 2:43

Get your shit together, OP.

Eivana 37

Sunday 28 June 2015 3:11

Then you're a bad person.

tanziir1 14

Sunday 28 June 2015 3:39

ROFLMFAO

random_man1999 11

Sunday 28 June 2015 5:41

Be a ******* man and own up to what you did OP, and apologize to your father 1 million times while kneeling on a stack of legos

savemeSheehan 8

Sunday 28 June 2015 6:01

that's pretty screwed up if you OP

2ru 14

Sunday 28 June 2015 6:12

That is a damn shame. You need to tell the truth.

calerino 8

Sunday 28 June 2015 6:21

If she kicked him out for watching **** then they obviously have issues and I done believe it's your fault to be honest good luck op

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 194

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 139

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 3 595

Today, my daughter called 911. Why? Because she couldn't get the images to show up on her phone. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 610

You deserved it 516

Today, I sent a great-quality booty pic to two of my love interests. Instead of sending it individually, I accidentally made a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 8 715

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 593

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 402

You deserved it 7 087

Same thing different taste

Late reaction

Overreaction much?

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