Miscellaneous: Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 41 596

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Same thing different taste

By thats what my ipod is for - 26/04/2013 17:34 - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 486

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 3 423

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 401

By Asterisk1009 - 29/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 659

You deserved it 17 087

By oldskoolfun - 26/12/2015 23:04 - United States - Warminster

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 419

You deserved it 10 688

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 16:14 - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 684

You deserved it 3 886

By kris - 22/08/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 810

You deserved it 2 766

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 18:10

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 686

You deserved it 7 350

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 665

Overreaction much?

By owngoalscored - 22/09/2018 22:00

Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 334

goldbugs 4

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:32

OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...

taymichele16 15

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:31

More like f your father's life

Comments

howbout_thisone 13

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:26

You expect sympathy with that d*ck move? Man up and tell the truth!

Sathane 21

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:35

You're an asshole and 100% at fault for destroying your ramily.

ea247 20

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:07

Dude WTF! -_-"

soulreaper12296 28

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:17

Well maybe now is the time to admit it.

TheBossBryson 11

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:23

He took one for the team

TheBossBryson 11

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:24

He posted this FML because he didn't admit it, not because it happened

tyra8972 8

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:26

You would rather split your parents up then admit that?! You need to learn some serious lessons

jd628 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:36

OMG I was just moderating on FML.com and YOUR DAD POSTED AN FML ABOUT THIS

guardloverz123 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:52

Grow a pair and man up. Letting your dad take the blame for something you did is complete and utter shit.

Badkarma4u 17

Saturday 27 June 2015 20:01

If your mom is that crazy, your dad's probably feeling like Andy Dufresne at the end of Shawshank right about now.

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The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 137

You deserved it 4 976

The Top

Today, I have accepted that if I try to spend time with my girlfriend, she will come up with any excuse to avoid me, but when I want to do something by myself, she will be at my elbow every ten seconds, loudly whining that she wants to spend time together and that I'm mean. Talking has yet to fix anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 211

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 083

You deserved it 3 270

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 359

You deserved it 6 660

Today, it's been over three months since my ex and I split up. It's also been three months since I've seen my step-daughter. Being an ex-stepfather is heartbreaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 133

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 160

You deserved it 10 227

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 370

Same thing different taste

Late reaction

Overreaction much?

Top comments

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