By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Spicy
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks 157 260
You deserved it 18 045

Same thing different taste

Top comments

LittleMissMack 0

Parents tell embarrassing stories... it happens. I'm sure he's not going to freak out or anything. Maybe he'll think its funny and like you even more because you're obviously a highly sexual individual. =)

That is ******* hilarious... in a pedobear kinda way...

Comments

callmebee 0

lmfao, i used to do that all the time. at home, at school, at my grandmas, at my babysitters, at my neighbors. i remember in 2nd grade my mom helped out in the classroom and after that whenever id do that my teacher would tap me on the shoulder. im so embarressed now thinking about how i used to do it in front of like everyone D: and i thought i was the only one that did that ahaha.

Lishaaaa 0

My boyfriend's brother started masturbating at age 7 or 8. :)

BiologicalEntity 0

a lolicon man's dream....and funny! If I was your boyfriend, I would not be bothered by that!

ravar5 0

my brother also did that when he was young the scary part is that my dad told me he also did that

iarediana 0

looooooooooool! i would die if my mom did that xD

FYL for your mom telling your boyfriend, but it's still totally a win.

ayra7939 0

Aww, I used 2 do that when I was like 3 or 4, but it was wen I had 2 pee while watching tv...on the arm of a couch with my shirt neck in my mouth... Lord, I thought i was the only 1, and my dad came in once, and said, Ayra, what are you doing? I never masturbated after realizing that was wrong... too scared of my mom's or dad's disapproval... (I know he told her, god, how embarrassing that must have been for him too. Awkward "Um, honey, I just saw our daughter humping the couch arm, but don't know how to bring this up without looking perverted" lol) I hope they don't do that to me...

ayra7939 0

oh, and I never used my hands, just the couch. I don't think at that age you know that things can go in there... maybe that's why I'm so phobic of sex, and stuff like that... Um, I may be the next 40yr old virgin screwed up by embarrassing childhood memories of semi-masturbating...maybe I shouldn't have used my real name...(I'm gonna c if I can change it...)

I did that too. My teacher called the principle to come observe. I did it again without fail.

mystery_monkey 0

haha i used to do this when i was little too...i would pile up a blanket on my bed, and rub myself on it. it felt so good :) but my mom caught me once and was like "what are you doing?!" lol

Ha ha wow, I made an account just to comment this. Your post made me remember some awkward stuff I used to do. I distinctly remember one time when I was 4 I brought one of the boys from my mom's daycare into my bedroom and closed the door, and then we both sat down and I told him to spread his legs like mine. Then I got out a toy hammer and stuck the end of the toy plastic hammer (that's used to pry up nails) underneath me and pushed the handle down; then I told him to do it. He did, but he said that it hurt. I didn't understand why it hurt, cuz it felt good to me, so I told him to let me try doing it to him, he still didn't think it felt that good (obviously I understand now why it felt good to me and not him), but we took turns doing it to each other for a long time... I've never told anyone that. I also did and still sometimes do rub myself and cross my legs when I have to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. When I got a bit older I did the pool jet thing ALL the time! It feels so good. The water pouring out of the faucet in the tub on full blast works too...(I still do that occasionally) Anyways the point is I think it's completely normal for little kids to be curious about that stuff.