Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"...

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 2 464

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 36 909

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 119

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

1989mustang50 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:17

Hahaha fail

raphdragon02 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:26

you posted this in the wrong page.. this is FML, not WTF!

maccagirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:56

wtf?!?!?

laylaisbeast 3

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:06

I hope she was JOKING... :L

Thomas_Rothbard 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:21

fake.....so ****** fake

sammsaballerr 1

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:10

lol either shes crazy, or shes awesome and has a great sence of humor. hahaha

skittlesss 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:36

haha , lmao . (;

blanccamaro74 6

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:46

I feel so sorry for u

bigbisawesome 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:05

well obviously she was smoking some cocaine before she tried to sell u the rice

peacelovehappine_fml 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:24

wow your moms a nut job!!!

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The Top

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 631

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 10 418

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 5 305

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 748

You deserved it 43 435

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 966

You deserved it 4 831

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it, I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 421

You deserved it 57 495

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 115

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

Delusional

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