By Tiny_Nerd - 08/03/2016 15:00 - United States - Westwego
Tiny_Nerd tells us more.
OP here. To clarify my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and three months. I had reasons prior to starting (inconsistent cycle, family history) to believe I might be infertile, but we wanted to wait a year and see. We're currently about to get checked out and tested to see what's what. This particular incident I was talking to my mother in law about the fact we haven't managed to conceive yet and her advise was to "pray to the Lord with all our hearts" for a baby. She knows very well that my husband and I are agnostic, so I reiterated to her (as I've had to do since I was in the dating stages with my husband) that we are agnostic and not inclined toward Christianity at all. Her immediate response was "that's why God won't give you(my husband and I) a baby". To be fair to her, I will say I've heard about her background and it was pretty abusive so this is a learned behavior (though it's no excuse). From what I've seen while she's not as bad as her parents, but she has some pretty abusive tendencies which has more than once resulted in bad fall-outs and drama; more often than not with women (males are not exempt) who are either in the family or connected by familial ties. She tends to be quite controlling and doesn't react well when people don't do what she wants. It's been suggested before that she get therapy, but she refuses as she thinks there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Everyone knows she's like this, no one likes it. As for this particular incident it was pointed out by my husband that this was her way of aggressively trying to convert us because that's her "Christian" way of loving; in her mentality it's for our own good. My husband did stand up for me when he found out. Her response was less than stellar. My husband loves his family (his mother too, even if he doesn't like her) and unfortunately you can't avoid his mother without avoiding the family as well. I do my best to avoid drama while still standing my ground and not letting myself get walked all over which isn't easy as you can see. As for my sister in law I won't go into specifics, but her children are going through a bad time (because of both their parents) and we can see how it's affecting them. My husband and I have been trying to think of ways we can convince their parents to allow us to have temporary custody till at least one of them can give them a stable environment (though to be frank I wouldn't mind if it was permanent). One last clarification: I have nothing against Christians. I'm actually a theology nerd (amongst many other nerdoms). I actually consider this type of "Christian" behavior an affront to what the religion is supposed to be. My husband and I had a discussion and we've decided due to this incident when we DO have children one way or the other (whether it be natural, from fertility treatments, fostering, or adoption) we will absolutely forbid his parents to talk about religion with them or around them at all nor will they be left alone with the children unless it can't be avoided (like if we had an emergency). If they try to do so anyway visits will be limited or cut off. We had already decided that it would be in our wills when we have children that his parents (among others in both our families) under no circumstances are to get custody if something happens to us.
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Please have several incredible kids and don't let her zealot-y ass anywhere near them!
Your mother-in-law needs to go read her Bible. God gives children to who He pleases. Believer and non-believer alike. Having the label Christian does not make someone a Christian...I think that is obvious.
That's ok. My MIL told me my miscarriages were God's way of punishing me for my tattoos while her 10 miscarriages and my sister's 1 were because God had special plans for them so they couldn't have children yet until their work was done.
And when I say MIL I mean my husband's step mother who (surprise, surprise) had an affair with my husband's father and helped him abandon his family. Great Christian woman. *sarcasm*
Ugh. I'm a devout Christian but I'd be lying if I denied that there's some weeeiiiiiird denominations out there. This person sounds like the same type who wouldn't give medicine to someone with cancer.
Whatever the case we are to love God and our neighbor those are the summarized commandments that Jesus himself gave. Also vengeance is mine says the lord, he's the one to judge and decide what is or isn't sinful not anyone else, so people need to live and let others live their life the way they choose.
That's why there is always adoption anyway, this planet is so overpopulated, if your stable, have a brain, and your life together then do some poor kid a favor
Annnnnd thats when you cut them out of your life. Poisonous people are poisonous.
If you don't believe in any gods, you're atheist. (Not only agnostic.)
There's different types and levels of atheism, just like there's different types and levels of religions/theism. This is how it's broken down, Gnostic Theist- 100% certain there is a God or gods. Gnostic Atheist- 100% certain there is no god or gods. Agnostic Theist- Believes in a God or gods, but doesn't claim to know with 100% certainty. Agnostic Atheist- lacks a belief in God or gods, but doesn't claim to know with 100% certainty. Most people with a lack of belief in God(s), are agnostic atheists, because most have the view that there's no way we can know for sure with absolute certainty about God(s)' existence. Due to this, some go by only the term atheist, and some go by only agnostic, both are correct because they both fall under this definition.
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You should point out how while you are seemingly successful, her daughter is using "the Devils powder" or some bs like that
Sadly that is how many Christians seem to be. I say this coming from a Christian family. If I ever decided to stop following the Christian religion, I would be shunned by my family.