By Tiny_Nerd - 08/03/2016 15:00 - United States - Westwego

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML
I agree, your life sucks 19 067
You deserved it 1 442

Tiny_Nerd tells us more.

OP here. To clarify my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and three months. I had reasons prior to starting (inconsistent cycle, family history) to believe I might be infertile, but we wanted to wait a year and see. We're currently about to get checked out and tested to see what's what. This particular incident I was talking to my mother in law about the fact we haven't managed to conceive yet and her advise was to "pray to the Lord with all our hearts" for a baby. She knows very well that my husband and I are agnostic, so I reiterated to her (as I've had to do since I was in the dating stages with my husband) that we are agnostic and not inclined toward Christianity at all. Her immediate response was "that's why God won't give you(my husband and I) a baby". To be fair to her, I will say I've heard about her background and it was pretty abusive so this is a learned behavior (though it's no excuse). From what I've seen while she's not as bad as her parents, but she has some pretty abusive tendencies which has more than once resulted in bad fall-outs and drama; more often than not with women (males are not exempt) who are either in the family or connected by familial ties. She tends to be quite controlling and doesn't react well when people don't do what she wants. It's been suggested before that she get therapy, but she refuses as she thinks there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Everyone knows she's like this, no one likes it. As for this particular incident it was pointed out by my husband that this was her way of aggressively trying to convert us because that's her "Christian" way of loving; in her mentality it's for our own good. My husband did stand up for me when he found out. Her response was less than stellar. My husband loves his family (his mother too, even if he doesn't like her) and unfortunately you can't avoid his mother without avoiding the family as well. I do my best to avoid drama while still standing my ground and not letting myself get walked all over which isn't easy as you can see. As for my sister in law I won't go into specifics, but her children are going through a bad time (because of both their parents) and we can see how it's affecting them. My husband and I have been trying to think of ways we can convince their parents to allow us to have temporary custody till at least one of them can give them a stable environment (though to be frank I wouldn't mind if it was permanent). One last clarification: I have nothing against Christians. I'm actually a theology nerd (amongst many other nerdoms). I actually consider this type of "Christian" behavior an affront to what the religion is supposed to be. My husband and I had a discussion and we've decided due to this incident when we DO have children one way or the other (whether it be natural, from fertility treatments, fostering, or adoption) we will absolutely forbid his parents to talk about religion with them or around them at all nor will they be left alone with the children unless it can't be avoided (like if we had an emergency). If they try to do so anyway visits will be limited or cut off. We had already decided that it would be in our wills when we have children that his parents (among others in both our families) under no circumstances are to get custody if something happens to us.

Top comments

You should point out how while you are seemingly successful, her daughter is using "the Devils powder" or some bs like that

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Sadly that is how many Christians seem to be. I say this coming from a Christian family. If I ever decided to stop following the Christian religion, I would be shunned by my family.

Comments

This, this right here is why people don't like us...

It's no wonder people like this give Christianity a bad rap. Just because your belief isn't the same doesn't mean you're gonna be punished by not having kids. She's a moron

That's definitely religious fanaticism talking. You're both way better off without that sort of poisonous influence in your lives OP good luck.

Sorry that happened to you, Christians like that give Christians a bad name.

I knowingly married into an off the chart devout Catholic family (my late husband went to mass out of obligation). I took mega crap as a Taoist for years & was named "heathen". 18 yrs later and 1 son, I now have a better relationship with my in laws than my own blood. deep breath & patience, oh & wine... lots of wine.

Religion is so ******* corrupt, I swear.

aliciousness116 16

Sad how religion divides people. I'm agnostic too but funny how your mother believes that kind of bs. How does religion have anything to do with fertility? All women have the same organ parts. I wonder what she has to validate about animals. Lol

aliciousness116 16

considering what kind of genetics your husband is bringing with him maybe you might want to consider adoption.

By this logic only "good Christians" should ever be having children, but we all know that isn't how the world works.

clickme 17