Miscellaneous: Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said,...

By niccy - 09/09/2010 04:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 543

You deserved it 10 478

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Same thing different taste

By nkotz - 14/01/2013 18:34 - United States

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 071

You deserved it 7 297

Thanks, I hate it

By nakedyogagirl - 03/09/2010 00:16 - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 087

You deserved it 39 696

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 111

By S. Fancyson - 16/04/2013 23:23 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 453

You deserved it 9 637

By she sure has an arm. - 28/02/2013 11:57 - United States - Clinton

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 2 631

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 369

You deserved it 15 870

By unknown - 12/06/2013 17:33 - United States - Tulare

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 003

You deserved it 4 483

By skinnyguy23 - 10/09/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 3 634

It's not what you think

By Shopper - 23/05/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 341

You deserved it 7 710

Tact

By FalkensLabyrinth - 03/02/2021 19:57 - United States - Gardner

Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 215

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 9 September 2010 12:06

Who needs a gym membership when you already have a perfectly good bed capable of enduring all the working out you'll ever need?

SChew 6

Thursday 9 September 2010 12:01

so go get a gym membership

Comments

FFML_314 11

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:11

I hate AFP

Alesana_Love 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:12

That's when you tell her that you wanted her to watch ;) p.s. lose some weight tubbyfuck

SmallTownCutie 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:46

p.s. gain some weight skinnyfuck(: lol I'm jk, it was just too tempting

sillybabee 3

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:19

Neighbors gonna love THAT view;)

Jimboom 11

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:21

Lol. Still, better that then the local neighbourhood kids grinning and giving you a thumbs up when they see you.

substitutes 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:24

This is not an FML the person was giving her some advice oh and lose some weight

FMLsOhilarious 6

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:33

OMG are you serious? You can't be, obviously you're joking. But wait, then you're not because this sorry excuse for an FML is up on the FML site. You totally DI (deserve it) for not having anything in your bedroom window. Next time cover up you idiot. As for the gym membership part, tell the lady to take her head out of her ass.

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:39

i would love to see the poster behind these fmls, just to check if people are really that rude, or if fml is just full of fat people.

FFML_314 11

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:42

I'm going to go with........ THE 2ND ONE. Definitely full of fat people. Fat, fat, FATTIES! All of them. Nothing but big ole' fat arses. They eat their feelings away. Do you want to know what they do this? Because, they have to stare at other people's misfortunes, day in and mother ******* day out. It weighs on a person, having a constant reminder of how grand your life is, compared to the guy who super glued his headphones to his head. You know?

FFML_314 11

Thursday 9 September 2010 13:55

*why

blinkingstarlet 15

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:09

super harsh, wow. ur kind of a dick. and ur on here... and u have cats for your pic. so cool. the reason u like to tear away at peoples' feelings attempting to make them feel bad about themselves is because u hate yourself so much.