Health: Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house... - FML

By partypooper - 18/01/2012 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 6 703

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 826

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 2 747

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 076

You deserved it 3 183

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 108

You deserved it 72 721

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 547

You deserved it 80 673

Soooooooo late 2020

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 120

By whosurdaddy - 06/01/2017 06:44

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 087

You deserved it 1 443

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 071

You deserved it 3 570

By Jaclk - 24/04/2012 21:28 - United States - Needham

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 19 805

Pushover

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 14:05

Today, my in-laws invited themselves to stay at my house for a few days. They live out of state and have been self-quarantining for months. The reason for visiting? So they can throw a party for extended family at our house. Guess who'll end up doing all the work and clean up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 226

Next

Top comments

123josie123 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:59

Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*

TheMaster15 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:00

Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D

Comments

lsg6 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:24

u know what i think its funny? when somone posts something like: i had a party cuz my parents were out of town, but then something terrible happened. FML. its always YDI. but as soon as its i CAN'T party, its FML.

Keke0410 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:24

I'll be your hot babe here's my email boys msocrotty@ gmail. Com

Chickosexy11 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:28

I would still party!

muffdriver27 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 1:21

Dan that sucks

sharktat2 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 1:41

Here's a little tip that always works...make tea, crush 3 vitamin C pills, add 2 teaspoons of honey and mix together (do not add milk or cream)...this is what I call "the remedy"...drink this and you will feel much better! :)

bwidet 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 2:11

OMG Herbert the pervert on family guy xD!!

Tdevonner 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 2:40

Aww mannn...fyl...my heart hurts for ya :'(

bri5083 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:37

The party goes on!!! Hell, I'd make out with a sick guy to get out of school...

Eternal94 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:41

Good news and bad news OP: Guys good news, My parents not home. Friends: Cool, Let throw a partyyyy!!! OP: Bad news. I have flu... Friends: ...oh..well have some soup and take pill, and get better ASAP. So we can party. Bye

twilightluvr101 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:52

Hasnt anyone told u partying cures everythinge and either way ull end up,throwing up so theres really nothing to lose here :-P!

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The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 539

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, I realized I have a type: a man who is highly intelligent to begin with, but then either decides to apply his IQ exclusively to theoretical thinking and not real life, or who purposely dulls his wits to the point where you can hardly even have a conversation any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 208

Today, at work in a clinic, I went in to clean a treatment room. For some reason, it smelled like rotten meat, which made me gag. I sprayed some air freshener. Now it smells like rotten meat and air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 317

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 477

You deserved it 6 678

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025

Today, a 100-foot maple tree fell on my house. I was inside. I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 115

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 99 328