Drugs, Parents and Miscellaneous: Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed....

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 339

You deserved it 3 085

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Same thing different taste

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 820

You deserved it 9 727

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 146

You deserved it 15 543

By valarmorgoolies - 06/02/2015 18:51 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 829

You deserved it 3 036

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 2 639

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 668

You deserved it 2 955

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 228

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 982

You deserved it 38 808

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 43 598

Placebo

By mother teresa was a cunt - 17/09/2015 14:54 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 525

You deserved it 5 460

Respect the herb

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 10:00

Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 589

tony1891 22

Saturday 2 June 2012 11:58

should have smoked it. at least then it'd be worth getting grounded for.

xFluttershy 7

Saturday 2 June 2012 12:00

I tried smoking weed once when I was a little kid, then I found out that there were two kinds of "weed" and I had the wrong kind.

Comments

LaLince 40

Thursday 29 November 2012 16:40

Sue them

BVBARMY1238 9

Saturday 5 January 2013 19:22

Blackmail?

rajput 17

Thursday 18 April 2013 1:43

that's messed up

Viet_fml 9

Monday 29 April 2013 1:41

Tell them that you will snitch if they don't unground you.

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 29 July 2013 20:09

Haha did you find it because you were snooping???

cats400 16

Sunday 11 August 2013 15:41

I know the feeling...

iamtheinsomniac 11

Monday 9 September 2013 4:04

………what?

ottyscays 5

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:10

Everyone who said report them to the cops should be shot It's only ******* weed people like you is what's wrong with the world

trifling_queen 5

Monday 6 April 2015 21:32

That's just great!!

Emma Marshall 19

Friday 24 August 2018 3:19

People need to get over it, it's only weed

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 42 709

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 333

You deserved it 4 255

The Top

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 908

You deserved it 2 675

Today, I found myself being jealous of the relationship between Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas on Frenemies. I need a life. I need real friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 611

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 4 763

Today, my 6 brothers and I (a girl) were finally finding out the sex of my mom's baby. It's going to be another boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 506

You deserved it 792

Today, I just turned 40 and have gone teetotal, had no birthday party due to having burned all my bridges with friends and the community in my 20s, and now me and my cat are both scratching non-stop because my apartment seems to have an infestation of dust mites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 886

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 897

You deserved it 6 160