Love: Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding...

By roadkill0321 - 07/11/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 5 388

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Same thing different taste

By Rosey - 23/07/2014 20:57 - United States - Manson

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 3 361

You never know

By Mezzlegasm - 10/07/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 095

You deserved it 51 273

Mrs Nostradamus

By Anonymous - 08/06/2022 02:00

Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 811

You deserved it 3 012

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 338

You deserved it 4 123

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 3 193

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 562

You deserved it 2 880

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 05:13 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 171

You deserved it 7 284

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 121

You deserved it 10 449

By M.A. - 25/02/2014 05:22 - United States - Prescott

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 105

You deserved it 5 551

faerieworld 1

Monday 7 November 2011 12:10

Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.

phoenixslayer69 4

Monday 7 November 2011 12:07

Run and hide!

Comments

coolstorybro6969 6

Monday 7 November 2011 12:14

That must be code for, I WANT SEX

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 7 November 2011 13:37

Do you speak some chicken language?

TheAftermath 0

Monday 7 November 2011 12:19

Well, don't let momma down.

btown99909 0

Monday 7 November 2011 12:35

she's going to tie you to the radiator and grape you in the mouth!

iliketurdles 7

Monday 7 November 2011 12:53

Must resist urg.. Ahhh **** it. *RAPE! Although if she wants to feed you grapes then that would be amazing.

belkinbra 12

Monday 7 November 2011 13:39

He spelt it like that on purpose.... Go watch "the grapist" on youtube. Silly grammar nazi.

dadof2 4

Monday 7 November 2011 12:36

protect those eggs !!!!

Wheredidgrungego 12

Monday 7 November 2011 12:49

Chickens don't lay eggs with gum inside them!

Enslaved 36

Monday 7 November 2011 14:28

Too bad more people don't understand your joke. (:

lalalaleah4 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 14:33

Oh my god! I was waiting for someone to say that! :D

Jimboom 11

Monday 7 November 2011 12:50

Maybe she is going to Egg you? Either that or she is going to go all bunny-boiler on your ass! Either way I would watch your back.

Snowbat4u 10

Monday 7 November 2011 12:51

Talk about a Mamma's Boy

Savra_fml 17

Monday 7 November 2011 13:07

OP, as you said it is now you ex, so your future has nothing to do with her, no? Tell the momma hen to get over it and just cross the road already, bacause the **** has left the chicken coop.