Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to...

By areyoukiddingme - 02/11/2015 05:54 - United States - Marion

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 064

You deserved it 2 183

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Same thing different taste

By GabyLeann - 29/09/2015 02:01 - United States

Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 315

You deserved it 34 802

Rampage

By emmalou - 16/09/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 127

By youredisgusting - 03/10/2014 07:00 - United States - Merced

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 2 729

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 064

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 968

You deserved it 8 665

Give it back

By upset room mate - 18/08/2011 06:59 - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 305

Mind your own business

By :(( - 30/05/2013 21:18 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 803

You deserved it 18 237

By megatron - 16/03/2016 17:04 - United States - Naperville

Today, my roommate decided to go on a group trip instead of paying our water bill. Now I can't shower until next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 026

You deserved it 1 584

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 287

You deserved it 3 848

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

WitEluded 13

Monday 2 November 2015 18:29

I find the blocking the number part the funniest part... If you live together, blocking the number won't stop you from talking to them.

thatonetribute 31

Monday 2 November 2015 18:25

...that is a slight overreaction.

Comments

metalwolf 17

Tuesday 3 November 2015 14:48

buy them a new soap and attach a note saying "for (name), now grow up!"

ashcmiller 6

Tuesday 3 November 2015 19:09

Hahahaha sorry ?? but this is hilarious! Your roommate is nuts!

TheMarethyu 2

Friday 6 November 2015 2:54

SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE WE HAVE A CODE 478 I REPEAT A 478

r83839 22

Sunday 4 September 2016 3:57

Who has their own hand soap, anyway? Do you have your own dishwasher detergent and toilet paper too?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars Work You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 088

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 2 659

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 224

You deserved it 6 680

Today, my girlfriend’s friend decided she wanted to tell her that I was flirting with other girls, just so we would break up. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 111

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 356

You deserved it 9 708

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 718

You deserved it 5 491

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, whom I have been with for 4 years. I've been in Australia for the last 2 months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 958

You deserved it 261