Animals: Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling...

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 4 377

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Same thing different taste

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 028

You deserved it 2 643

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 3 297

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 184

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 964

You deserved it 4 787

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 409

You deserved it 3 899

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 2 139

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 986

You deserved it 2 502

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 838

You deserved it 297

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 236

You deserved it 4 686

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 145

LanceGoodthrust 19

Monday 27 January 2014 19:16

Time to stop sleeping in the lounge... And stop being so damn sexy to cockroaches

LaurenLo 17

Monday 27 January 2014 19:14

Time to burn down the house.

Comments

ItsMelanieB1tch_ 4

Monday 27 January 2014 20:48

better than any of the big spiders you guys have in Australia.

korean0024 1

Monday 27 January 2014 20:57

Nope

craanberry_fml 7

Monday 27 January 2014 21:01

At least you didn't eat it.

lvg_fml 10

Monday 27 January 2014 21:07

I'd be sleeping with some kind of netting on my face after that. If I could even sleep Eeeweww

TheCrispyCat 20

Monday 27 January 2014 21:12

Well, it is Australia....

kayteakay 26

Monday 27 January 2014 21:32

Time to get a new roommate. **** that guy.

rockydify 22

Monday 27 January 2014 21:48

It happens to everyone. Spiders too. Pleasant dreams all.

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 27 January 2014 22:14

This is an appropriate time to beat the crap out of your roommate?

werewolf_babe 16

Monday 27 January 2014 23:24

Kill them Show no mercy O-O

unfuckmylife 13

Tuesday 28 January 2014 0:05

U must be like... "just another day in life" .. *Australia*

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 797

You deserved it 7 026

Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 928

You deserved it 2 155

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 338

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 170

Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 604

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 613

You deserved it 4 986

Same thing different taste

Fear factor

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

Night visitor

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