Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give... - FML

By Monkeyspank - 26/01/2017 22:00

Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give my almost two-year-old son some strong black coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 827

You deserved it 659

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smart kid

By my_way_1213 - 09/06/2018 20:30

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 3 803

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 03:50 - United States - La Grange

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 16 661

By lucas_urev - 15/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cold Spring Harbor

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 7 140

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 250

By unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 627

You deserved it 39 165

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

By ... - 20/01/2019 02:00

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 766

By megean c.l. - 20/01/2013 21:36 - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 848

You deserved it 8 020

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 13 149

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 765

Next

Top comments

acmariner99 25

Thursday 26 January 2017 22:12

I'm very curious about the outcome to this

aggoden_bed 9

Friday 20 January 2017 7:48

<p>At least she didn't give him red bull. </p>

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 23:45

That's child abuse! No cream and sugar?!?!? Barbaric!!!

samwilliams800 28

Friday 27 January 2017 15:31

Cream and sugar is coffee abuse.

Suckmybigrooster 1

Friday 27 January 2017 3:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Bluepies 24

Friday 27 January 2017 3:27

A toddler drank black coffee and didn't spit it out?

shortcake563 21

Friday 27 January 2017 8:43

my 3yr old loves black coffee he takes a few drinks of my mom's when she has it and ALWAYS ask for more lol

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 27 January 2017 3:40

Reminds me of that one episode of American Dad, when Francine had Greg and Terry's baby and Stan decided to give her coffee because she kept falling asleep.

trucker2 33

Friday 27 January 2017 4:58

Poor kid gonna get the *****, too.

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 5:10

Sounds like your sister needed a cup of her own before making ridiculous decisions such as that one.

jeffprobs 29

Friday 27 January 2017 5:53

Actually the thing with the most caffeine is cold brew

flakawaka 0

Friday 27 January 2017 7:29

Did you slap her?

xMaeLA 24

Friday 27 January 2017 10:23

It'll put some hair on his chest. He'll be a manly baybeh.

GIJoefan 6

Saturday 28 January 2017 5:51

A whole friggin cup?!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 420

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 1 361

Today, my mother, who has no life of her own, barged into my house and demanded to know why we hadn’t had kids yet after 6 months of marriage. She then hoovered the living room for a while, even though I did it yesterday, and only left after criticising my wife’s makeup and body weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 496

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 4 186

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 1 595

Today, the elevator at work was taking forever so I decided to make a change and take the stairs instead. I slipped on the second step and spent the next few minutes laying there as people asked if I was OK. My pride is bruised… as well as my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 109

Today, at work, this lady comes up to the counter and asks me for some napkins. She came up to the counter 5 times, when my boss told me to find out what happened to her. Her daughter had puked all over the table and floor, she had covered it with napkins and then left. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 911

You deserved it 3 162