Health: Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited...

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 21:15 - Canada - London

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 989

You deserved it 6 988

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Same thing different taste

Smash the patriarchy!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 370

By Bratty son - 23/10/2012 04:25 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 391

You deserved it 59 573

By anna - 31/10/2013 18:27 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 376

You deserved it 9 778

Don't hate the player…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 14:00

Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 270

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 10 080

By get a grip, son - 30/05/2014 20:37 - United States - Pooler

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 173

You deserved it 10 880

Scumbag

By old mom - 29/09/2023 06:00

Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 11/05/2012 19:30 - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 830

You deserved it 4 240

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 394

You deserved it 5 225

Manly men fighting

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 267

metallica_wins 20

Saturday 28 June 2014 5:09

You should be proud, at least he's emotionally intelligent.

DarkSmoke591 21

Saturday 28 June 2014 5:09

Duck faces aren't even cute

Comments

TOY4RUN 13

Saturday 28 June 2014 6:19

your son was in the right. lol

ICryWhenIPee 20

Saturday 28 June 2014 6:24

This is one of my favorite posts on this entire website! Idiot? Your son is hilarious!

JustPlainKate 4

Saturday 28 June 2014 6:26

Lmao they deserved it xD your son did the right thing

fsomelife 26

Saturday 28 June 2014 6:42

Your kid is awesome

CaptainBlack 18

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:12

When they punched him he should have ducked

deathcreep25 14

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:14

Your son is awesome!

locostaco_balls 7

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:30

A true hero

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:41

I hate duckface. he just needed to be faster. I though all Canadians were nice. must have been tourists.

thebob808 10

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:45

I would pay to see someone do that. priceless but the kid needs to learn to run faster.

sjhs321 13

Saturday 28 June 2014 8:08

Fyl, but as stupid as an idea that was that is pretty funny.

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The Top

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 226

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 740

You deserved it 2 521

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 668

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 178

You deserved it 3 606

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 180

You deserved it 3 528

Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 002

Today, I received an email from my boss, with congratulations, announcing my promotion. I worked hard last year, so I was excited to hear this and replied with gratitude. He texted me and apologized for misunderstanding as this email was sent by mistake, and it was my coworker who actually got promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 89