Kids: Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2012 00:00 - United States - Medina

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 579

You deserved it 4 704

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 4 294

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Scumbag

By old mom - 29/09/2023 06:00

Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 347

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 10 080

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 462

By fuck - 02/06/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 114

You deserved it 5 954

By I Have Failed - 02/04/2014 20:10 - Spain - Madrid

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 173

You deserved it 6 606

Kinda deserved it

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 14:02

Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 626

By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/04/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 068

You deserved it 6 273

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 342

KittyJay 3

Saturday 16 June 2012 5:24

Leave him there. Punk bitches hit women...

calaholic35 0

Saturday 16 June 2012 5:24

Goddamn asshole..

Comments

mellowmo0d88 8

Sunday 17 June 2012 0:12

At least your son has a respectable father! Kudos for not bailing him out

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 17 June 2012 2:41

Wow, your son is a total dumbass and a major douchebag. Kudos to you for not bailing him out. He thought it was okay and a good idea to punch his girlfriend? What an asshole...I'm glad you, like a lot of parents these days, stood your ground and didn't just give in to his demands and let him get away with it.

CaysonJon 11

Sunday 17 June 2012 3:18

I don't believe anyone on Jersey Shore has punched their girlfriends.

monkiki62 5

Sunday 17 June 2012 4:04

Um that never happened on jersey shore op

HungerGames95 13

Sunday 17 June 2012 4:16

How manly of him. Call up the girlfriend's Dad and be like, "Hey wanna kick his ass with me?" it'll be a great time.

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Sunday 17 June 2012 5:07

At least you realize that what he did was stupid. Now, time for him to do the same...

AliceInMe 4

Sunday 17 June 2012 9:47

Your son is a little fuckwad who should go die in a hole. You did a horrible job raising him if he's going around punching girls. Should have taught him more respect for women. I hope he gets dumped and She never sees him again. Because he's an abusive little pussyassbitch.

spottyblanket 8

Sunday 17 June 2012 10:43

Hitting a woman is cowardly and disgraceful, no excuse

Jasonf6 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 12:47

Umm, if his idols are the fuktards from Jersey Shore one of two things happened. 1) You failed at parenting or 2) He hit his head and instantly dumped any and all intelligence he may have had at that time. What a moron!